My Ex-Wife – The Bitch!!!!

I know I shouldn’t be really posting this, but fuck it lol. I know it got a lot of attention before so here it goes!

I need to get this all out some how, some where lol. I’ll just put down in a numbered format what I had to put up with 24-7!!

1) She is a total bitch!

2) If she isn’t a total bitch! She is a bitch of the bitches from HELL!!!

3) She is a spoiled little bitch that has to get her bitchy way!

4) All she does is start trouble and complain about everything and anything. Even if it’s stuff she does or wants to do, so she knows it’s how she wants things done, she still bitches.

5) She manipulates and plays the boss all the time and tries to control every situation.

6) If we get into arguments whenever, she always has the excuse to leave and run home to mommy, being that she is 21 now and should try and talk it out with me…no can’t do that.

7) She only acknowledges the bad that I do, and never the good, and rubs in my face how bad of a father or parent I am. When I’m the one that took care of our first son the majority of the time anyways….and he loves me more cause I was always there for him while she was always out running around and shit.

8.) She’ll expect me to watch the boys almost all the time while she goes out having fun, ramming and romping around where ever, which is no biggy to me, but when I want to run some where to do errands or whatever, she says, “Your leaving me with both of the boy’s” like it’s a chore or something, like BITCH!! What do you think happens to me 24-7 almost!!! But I’m such a bad parent, fuck you bitch and fuck off!!!! GO TO HELL!!!! WHORE BAG, MUSTACHE FACE, MAN LOOKING BITCH LMAO!!!!!

9) The bills are, our own bills, her bills and mine are separate, only if she needs help with her’s then that’s ok……!!!!!!!

10) She tries to get my family against me, and her’s, when she is the starter of the arguments and whatever. Then when they stick up for her, she makes a smart ass smile.

11) Even though enough time after our first son was born, I’m usually deprived of sex. And now since our second was born, even though her tubes are tied, it’s pretty much probably going to be the same way.

12) She doesn’t like to give me head, hand jobs, kiss to much any more, ride me, doggy style or 69 or just about anything. Even when doing it the regular way, she moans and bitches about it hurting or whatever.

13) She gets mad at me for porning!!!

14) She does things around my family that I don’t like, just outta a spite I guess. Just to piss me off and get me going!!!! Example: Like, she’ll always have her underwear and ass crack hanging out facing the entrance to the living-room so my pap and other male family members can see, it’s like bitch!! face the other way or pull your pants up!!!! But, nooo she can’t do that. Or she’ll wear a shirt that kinda hangs down far, so when she bends over you can see her breasts there.

Now! When I wore shorts around my son’s therapists, she claims she could see my dick hanging there, and I wasn’t aloud to wear shorts no more when they were around, so I make sure to wear pants, but it’s just so god damn hard for her to do what I ask about the underwear and shit!!!!! FUCK THAT!!!!!

15) She is just a fucking bitch!!!!! And I want someone different, I never ever had someone like this before, and it’s really driving me fucking nuts!!!

16) She makes stress for herself and me all the damn time! Can’t go without an argument at least once or twice a day! She even admitted she is a bitch and likes to make my life a living hell!!

17) She bitches if I don’t work at all, but at same time wants me to play babysitter all the time, and then she bitches when I work too damn much. Even though the money that I make is pretty good, working too much is a no no. But, she wants that though…fucking can’t ever please her what’s so ever.

18.) It’s ok for her to bitch and get everything off her chest, but I’m not suppose to at all…like I don’t have any feelings or emotions what so ever!! I’m just suppose to take all the shit, like I’m wearing a fucking sign that says, “ DUMP ALL YOUR FUCKING STRESS AND BITCHING ONTO ME” I’M THE FUCKING STRESS DUMPSTER!!! FUCK THAT SHIT!!! ALL THE BITCHES NEED TO REALIZE THE WORLD DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND JUST THEM!!!! JUST LIKE MOST AT MY JOB!! THEY WONDER WHY THEY HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH BOYFRIENDS AND OR THEY JUST UP AND LEAVE THEM>>>> CYA LATER FUCKING BITCHES!! I”LL FIND SOMEONE NEW!!

19) Or… I like it when she or other girls gang up against just me….that is fucking bullshit!!! Like I have a chance in hell to win a mouth battle to start with!!!

20) Or I like it when she or others do not listen worth a shit to me about anything, especially when I have gone through so much shit in my life it’s not fucking funny….no, they wanna do what they wanna do and find shit out the hard way all the damn time…!!!!! Then they have the nerve to take all their stress and bitchy attitude out on me!! THAT IS FUCKING BULLSHIT TO!! GOD DAMN FUCKING BIPOLAR BITCHES FROM HELL!!!!! NEED FUCKING COUNSELING AND SHIT!!!

21) Or, they call me names and shit, like “stupid” or “dumby” but they gotta go figure, they are bitches and bipolars from hell!!! That kinda cause that shit to happen to me to start with!!!! CAUSE, EXCESS UN-NEEDED STRESS AND BITCHING CAUSES BRAIN CELL DAMAGE!!!! WHORE BAG BITCHES!!!


1) She bitches when I snuggle close, cause my whiskers poke through her clothes, even if I shave my face. It’s the mustache she bitches about.

2) She bitches about kissing, she bitches when I tease her to attempt to get her horny.

3) She bitches when I porn cause I’m horny as hell, and she isn’t in the mood. It’s like bitch!! Be happy I’m not bugging you then!!!!

4) She bitches when or if I’m out looking for a new life with someone else cause of the shit she puts me through…like I’m going to wanna stay with her!!!! I think not!! But, it’s ok for her to write some guy in prison the whole time we were married….that is fucking bullshit!!!!!!

5) She bitches cause it hurts to fuck her.

6) She bitches when we take showers together and I wack off over her.

7) She can’t really give me hand jobs in the shower, her arms and wrists get to tired or sore, she can’t give head cause she’ll choke on it and it’s sick

8.) She bitches when I touch her when she is nude.

9) She bitches about me sucking her toes.

10) She bitches or complains or whatever about everything and then don’t like me asking about having sex all the time to.

Well….She will soon be the X Wife The Bitch!! HEHE!!


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I Love It When…

I Love It When…

1) Someone asks to borrow like $5.00 or $10.00 and they say they will pay you back right away…but it takes 5 or 10 years by the time you actually get it back.

2) Someone calls every 5 minutes through out a day to see if that specific person is home yet, when it would be just as easy to get a tracking device put on their vehicle to start with….and make the call when the machine says their home.

3) Someone tries to make trouble or tear other peoples apart just because their “wonderful” relationship sucks.

4) Just because you get “saved” or “baptized”, they expect you to be a perfect Christian as soon as that happens, and your not suppose to do anything wrong…but look who’s talking half of the time.

5) You try and pick a good spot at the movies away from the loud mouths, kids, fat or tall people……but just as your luck goes….you usually get the tall ones in-front of you, the fat ones beside you, the kids behind you and the loud mouths all around you.

6) Someone takes 5 years to get out a 10 word question or comment and then spends a decade trying to ask another question or comment that was asked 4 decades prior and already had an answer to start with……

7) Every time you go to the dept. store the staff comes up to you every 10 seconds asking if you need help……It’s like….you could help me by leaving me alone for at least 15 minutes while I browse around…

8) People throw the blame on you when they are fucking up the shit to start with and expect you not to get upset about it, at all….


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Well! I made these twisted messages up that someone would get when calling your cell phone all the damn time driving you nuts! JUST LIKE MY BRO DID TO ME! DROVE ME FUCKIN NUTS! He inspired me to do these lmao!


1) Hello..? I can’t answer the phone the right now….I’m either doing your wife, daughter or girlfriend at the moment. Please try back in about 12 hours….or if you want…just leave a message.

2) Hello…? O it’s you!!!! I haven’t heard a message from you in 5 seconds…. well considering I haven’t answered the phone 5 seconds ago or had returned your call…there a good chance I wouldn’t be this time either….please don’t leave another message for atleast 8 hours…

3) Hello…? Knock Knock… (Who’s there?) No ones here no ones any where….Please don’t leave a fucking message god damn it….

4) Hello..? You have reached Spencer’s Beer Tasting Department…If you would like me to sample beer for you for quality assurance….please leave a message letting me know when your bringing a case over for me to try….thanks for your time..

5) Hello! Hello! God damn reception sucks…..It’s staticy….please leave a message…

6) I knew it!…. I knew it!…. I knew it!… Would be you!…I’m a pyshic motherfucker!

7) O God!….You again!!!!… I thought I told you not to call and leave messages cause I hardly ever get on this phone anymore. So please don’t leave a message….have a nice day.

8) There is a 101 things I could be doing, but obviously answering this phone isn’t one of them…please leave a message if you must!

9) Hello..(sigh) Figures, everytime Im trying to wack off for a 6 or 8 hour session…someone calls to bug me…leave a message if you’d like….I probably won’t reply though for atleast another 12 hours though.

10) O God!… Incoming!!!…Everybody duck!!!

11) Hello! I’m sorry…all those damn messages drove me to an institute, please don’t leave a message god damn it.!

12) Hello!…Hey!…It’s you!…I haven’t heard a message or talked to you in 5 minutes…you know the drill by now! Goodbye you determined to bug others…motherfuckers!

13) Hey!…You just called a second ago, come on now!!! You can’t be that desperate, deprived or in-love…I’m not gay remember…!!!!???

14) I’ll call you back when I’m done doing your girlfriend, wife or daughter…have a nice rest of the day.

15) Buuurrrrrpppp!

16) If your just going to talk shit then so can I….goodbye!!

17) I’m probably wiping my ass at this time, but I’ll call you back when I’m done.

18) Hello!..Hello!….O damn!……You’re breaking up!….Can’t hear you!….click!…click!….

19) Hello!….If you want phone sex-press 1…If you want to make passionate love and crazy circus sex-press 2….for all other iquires press 3…

20) Hello!….O God!…The Human Alarm Clock!..And I thought the alarm clock in my bedroom was annoying.

21) Hello!..It’s people like you that makes people change their numbers 400 times in a month…

22) Hello! You have reached the D.M.V…the next avaible rep will be with you within the next year… (hint..hint..don’t bother leaving a message or calling again.)

23) Hello!.. You’ve reached Spencer’s Adult World!…If you need a specific toy or movie, please leave a message. If you just want my dick, I’ll get back to you faster!

24) Hello!…If you could or would donate some…money or beer towards all those damn minutes being used up on my phone for the bullshit messages you leave, that would be great!!

25) Hello! A message every 5 fucking seconds, takes Spencer’s minutes he doesn’t have to start with, away…..!!

26) Hello!…If your fetish is smelling stinky..butt ugly feet, please leave a fucking message after the fucking beep!

27) Hello!… I’m in the middle of commiting adultery, please call back later…. like 6 hours, no wait…I’ll still be doing it then to, better make it 12 hours…

28) Hello!… I didn’t think I was that important to start with for you to call me…..hold on a second..let me write this down on the calender.

29) Hey it’s you!…It’s obvious that I didn’t want to speak to you from the start! So please don’t bother leaving any messages…it’s a waste of your time and mine!… Have a great day good buddy that I never call back

30) Hello!…O it’s you!….you must want something from me….that’s the only reason you call for! Well…I don’t have any money, cigarettes or beer…so I guess I’ll hear from you again my next pay day. Well..wait…I do have a cock, if you want some of that then leave a message…!!

31) I knew it!….I knew it!!…..I knew it!!!…..Would be you!…You pain in the ass motherfucker!!……Just can’t leave me alone can you!!???

32) Warning!!….Warning!!…..Message Overload!!!……..System is going to self-destruct in 10 Seconds!! 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

33) Anymore god damn calls from you and Verizon Wireless is going to have to shut down their system for the world, just for you calling me like you do!!

34) I’m not even going to have to make up a smart ass voice message for people anymore, after all the damn calls, my phone is going to start speaking and fending for itself.

35) Thanks to you I had to go to the hospital for ear surgery…..!!!!

36) Hello!!??……..Goodbye!!!!!

37) 20,000 messages is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get and you never know how to stop them from coming….

38) What City..???……………What State….????……..What Listing…??? Sorry…we didn’t understand that listing……please hold for an operator……..

39) Hey!!!! Some people were born with a phone attached to their ear’s, but not me!!!!!

40) Hello!……Sorry!…..Im just to lazy to answer the phone & check my messages…If you want, leave one anyways…..I might get back to you in about 4 years though…..when I finally have enough money to hire a secretary.

41) I have fallen and I can’t get up!! I’m trying to get to the phone but it’s out of reach…..damn!….this fall took alot out of me……..wait…..I think I’m having a heart attack now! You bastard!! All this for your bugging ass!!!!

42) Hello!…..Our specials today are!…….no more god damn fucking messages!!!! -2 for the price of -1

43) Hold on a minute!! I’m trying to burn down your house with you in it at this time….call back when the flames
engulf you…

44) Hello!!…….O God!!!…..What do you want now for Christ’s Sakes!!!

45) [TOILET FLUSHING]……Ok!… now you can you leave your shit! (I am currently using this one LOL!!)

Welp! That’s enough for now, I’ll add some more later when I can come with them lmao!! Tata for now….


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You Know You’re Cheap When…..

Below here is some twisted jokes or whatever I had made up while being on the shitter taking a big ass SHIT! They might not be really funny but…deal with it fuckers!

You Know You’re Cheap When…

1) You think everything in the Dollar General Store is too expensive…and can’t wait for them to mark things down.

2) You find yourself browsing through the blue boxes late at night, so people won’t notice you…

3) You go and put outfits into the blue boxes and then casually get out other outfits that catches your eye….

4) You stoop so low to go to a nursing home randomly picking residents, telling them this big story of being a long lost grandchild and try to convince them to put you on their will for some cash and possible property….

5) If you bring your own snacks to the movie theater…

6) If you put M&Ms on lay away….

7) You want to make a holiday called, National Coupon Day…

8) You try and get a $10.00 item with two $5.00 off coupons…

9) You wanna try and convince the gov’t to allow Monolopy money as a backup currency…

10) You can’t afford to throw in your two cents on anything cause that’s dipping into your life savings…

11) When you jump for joy at all the “Free For The Taking” ads in the newspaper and have to be the first one there to pick the stuff up, no matter what it is….

12) When you think the shoes in a Payless Shoe Store are too expensive.

13) When you find yourself asking friends to buy you happy meals here and there at Mc Donalds so you can get the toys for the kids to have something for Christmas morning.

14) When you stoop so low to the point of claiming to be one of those homeless or starving kids in Africa so you’d get donations a month.

15) When it comes time to sell or get rid of your house, it’s just really a matter of taking the cardboard box to the recycle bin.

16) When you can’t wait to get your bank statement to see how much interest was added on to that knickel you had in your account.

17) When you can’t wait until Sunday for church or (Pay Day)….being that you sit in the last pew so that when you put your 10% in the offering bowl you nonchalantly take out 10% of the total, from the bowl.

18) When you only use one sheet of toilet tissue when wiping your ass and you have it in your head that anymore than that at a time is losing a knickel a sheet.

19) Your the only one getting a refund on calling waiting.

20) When you go out to eat, & you ask to see if you can pay for the bill by working in the kitchen or dishroom.

I hope you liked them….more might be coming soon then lol!


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This one is a piece of work let me tell ya! Besides all the other BIPOLAR BITCHES I have to deal with…this one takes the cake! She must be the mother of all BI POLAR BITCHES! Or maybe even the devil’s mother or older sister…I dunno. Either way it’s hard to really tell! But…anyways..this IS one mean and ignorant BITCH FROM HELL!


She might be small in size but her mouth is bigger than the Grand Canyon! I dunno why or how she even got hired at our shitty work place! I think I might I just tell our boss to put BI POLAR MEDICATIONS throughout the work place soon. There is only two guys there…me and a guy supervisor. The rest of them all women. 98% of them women are BI POLARS! God I need a new job and fast! Before I become institutionalized or whatever! I thought the BITCH WIFE was bad….and I thought I would enjoy going to work to get away from her….SHIT!….now I work with almost 20 of them..!! MY LIFE AND LUCK SUCKS ASS!

I wish the boss would just schedule my days so I don’t have to work with her….but like normal and how my shitty luck is ….that will NOT HAPPEN! There is NO WAY of getting out of that! And to top off the fact that she is a BI POLAR BITCH FROM HELL! She is also a cook/supervisor while the managers are not there!! This really makes things fun! She was a regular employee before…got hired around the same time I did! 11/5/2002 I believe it was. Now she got bumped up to Stupid-Visor position basically!! She got the good pay…benefits and all…now she goes all by the book and does nothing wrong!


Fuck!..That’s all for now! I will update this BITCH POST SOON PROLLY NO DOUBT!


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I have decided to take a piece of my spam mail and share with you all, a nice and simple reply by me! Here below is the copied email that I was sending back to them…prolly won’t get to them..but it makes me feel better that I replied with my WONDER-FUCKING-FUL comments!!


Please Visit :: ::
—– Original Message —–
From: “K M G” <>
Sent: Monday, April 26, 2004 2:59 AM
Subject: Please, Tell Me More!
> Hello There,
> Greetings!…
> I don’t want to waste your time and mine, just
> give me a chance to reveal these honest to goodness
> “Internet Money Earning SECRETS!”.
> Believe me, your life will never be the same again!.
> Please submit your contact information below without
> any obligation to purchase anything:
> > Subject: “Please, Send Me More!”
> Message: (You must include your info below)
> First Name:
> Last Name:
> Tel. Nos.:
> Country:
> Cheers,
> K.M.G.>

More lovely replies by me coming soon! Please keep your eyes peeled!

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Gotta love the…… Spam Mail!!

Nothing makes my day like SPAM MAIL! You just can’t fucking beat it…just when you think you got them fuckers deleted from the INBOX….more just keeps coming and coming!

I swear! I add like most of them addys to my junk address book and have them go straight to hell in the trash bin and it’s like they smile at me and say THINK AGAIN BASTARD! While having that Chumbawamba song in the background: NEVER GOING TO KEEP ME DOWN!!

Damn! I wish I could just send a few fucking thousand spam emails right back to the BASTARD SENDERS just ONCE! That’s All! Have their own spam emails shoved up their fucking asses so far it comes out their mouth like the shit they are trying to sell! Some of it I can’t even understand! Jesus! Fucking retards or something LOL!!

Also, some of them seem like they might be a good email and then when reading inside it….it’s like: PLEASE WATCH MY MOTHER FUCK ME, MY BROTHERS AND THE FAMILY DOG! All-righty then! I can’t wait to join that site lmao! NOT! DON’T FUCKING THINK SO PERVERTS FROM HELL! I might like porn! But not that shit!

Just like the fucking porno spam emails! Why in the hell would I need to get porno spam emails for!!?? I already know where to go to get it! I have memberships here and there! (Oops! Please note I haven’t lately hahaha! Too busy with site!) But any fucking ways!

I don’t need this shit! My shitty life already sucks cock! I don’t need anyone else’s “cock” being shoved in my life’s face to suck to! Jesus! That’s all!


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I must be a….BITCH MAGNET!

I don’t know what the hell is going on! But I must be a bitch magnet! It seems like I’m being “punished” or something. If I am, Please tell me why and for what so I won’t do the shit again!! The past few relationships it’s like, I happened to get with Bipolar Bitches from the depths of Hell!

With the X-Wife (Note X Wife) hahaha….wonder why!! Anyway… the beginning while just dating, everything seemed fine and so forth. No BITCHING no nothing. But once we tied the knot, it all went down the toilet with the rest of the shit! I don’t know why or how to this day was that possible for her to not be a bitch the whole time we were dating and then all the sudden turn DEVIL BITCH on me when getting married. I didn’t do anything wrong to her as far as I know.

My days went something like this: wake up in the morning to Bitching, throughout the day it was Bitching and going to bed was Bitching! And all about stupid bullshit! Half the shit didn’t even make any sense or nothing, nothing to be all mad about. It’s like wtf Bitch!? What is the fucking problem!!?? Did you forget to take your Bipolar medications again or something!? hahaha..naa…she wasn’t on any….but she Should Have Been!

Here is some of the shit I had to put up with 24 fuckin 7!!!

I just wish I could find some attractive young lady and a non-bitchy one all in one! I don’t know anymore….my life sucks hairy ball sacks along with the wonderful “Love Life”. If any young attractive females run across this post…please! please! maybe drop me a line or something! I have a pic of me in the Albums section. I know I might sound like a prick with these topics and so forth..but that is only because My Life Sucks Dick! Nothing in it is good really…well there is one thing…being alive! For what!? Just to live in it! Woot!! Woot!! Wow!! That is the greatest thing ever! I can’t beat that! Fuck! I need vodka! That usually helps in these “Wonder-Fucking-Ful” situations!!

That’s all for this topic….prolly update the fucker then later. Keep checking back for more Wonder-Fucking-Ful posts! That’s All! That’s It! No More Shit!


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