THE OLD- SHIT JOB SUCKS MASSIVE HORSE DICK AND THE NEW JOB DOESN’T!
Here below is a comparison of the two jobs. Now I just got hired for a job yesterday morning. Right below here is the good things about the shitty job I have now…then below that is what the new job has to offer!
THE WONDERFUL FUCKING SHIT JOB I HAVE NOW OFFERS THIS:
1) NO BENEFITS!
2) A BULLSHIT PAY RATE! $6.40 TO START….AFTER YOUR FIRST YEAR YOU GET A RAISE! WHOOPED- DE- FUCKING- DO- DA!
3) TONS OF STRESS FOR NO REASON AT ALL!
4) FREE COUNSELING! BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU’LL NEED IT ANYWAYS WHILE WORKING THERE IN THE CESSPOOL! BUT, EVEN THAT SHITTY FREE COUNSELING ISN’T WORTH SHIT!
5) THEY JUST DON’T OFFER ANYTHING! BECAUSE THEY CHEAP BASTARDS AND YOU ARE THE ONES THAT HAVE TO SUFFER AND JUST LIVE WITH IT! NOT! REALITY CHECK FUCKERS!
Here below is what the new job offers! AND I MUST SAY! DAMN! A HELL OF ALOT MORE THEN MY SHITTY.. SHIT.. SHIT.. JOB!
1) STARTING PAY RATE IS: $10.85 AN HOUR AND AFTER 4 MONTHS, IT AUTOMATICALLY GOES TO $11.45 AN HOUR! BESIDES THE .25 CENTS SHIFT RATE! WHICH I’LL BE DOING IN TIME, BECAUSE THEY NEED PEOPLE ON NIGHT SHIFT MORE THEN THEY NEED PEOPLE ON DAYSHIFT!
2) I’LL BE WORKING FOUR – 10 HOUR DAYS! MAYBE EVEN FIVE DAYS! WHICH IS OVER-TIME THEN. WHICH I’LL BASICALLY BE BRINGING HOME LIKE ALMOST $400.00 A WEEK, UNLIKE THE SHITTY JOB I HAVE AT THE MOMENT….BRINGING IN LIKE NOT EVEN $400.00 A FUCKING MONTH!
3) FULL BENEFIT PACKAGE AFTER 90 DAYS! WHICH INCLUDES:
A) MEDICAL, DENTAL, VISION..
B) 401 K/ PENSION RETIREMENT PACKAGE….
C) 2 WEEKS PAID VACATION AFTER ONE YEAR OF SERVICE….MAY TAKE A PORTION OF VACATION AFTER 90 DAYS
D) LIFE INSURANCE (15,000 PAID BY COMPANY-CAN SUPPLEMENT WITH BASIC AND UNIVERSAL LIFE)
G) 8 PAID 10-HOUR HOLIDAYS
H) GAIN-SHARING PROGRAM PARTICIPATION
Now, I think this is a much better paying job…let alone the benefits they offer…compared to my SHITTY ASS FUCKITY FUCK NUT JOB I HAVE NOW!
IT’S OFFICIAL FUCK-NUTS! MY TWO WEEK NOTICE IS GOING IN TOMORROW WHEN I GET TO SHIT WORK! WOOT!! WOOT!! MY LAST SHITTY DAY AT SHIT WORK WILL BE JULY 12TH! I start my new job the 13th! YAY! I can’t fucking wait! MONEY!! MONEY!! HERE IT COMES! Maybe then I can get my car all fixed the fuck up and go out picking up bitches n hoes hahaha…naa…descent ones this time! Well I hope! I’m done for now..laterz….
Twisted