LEARN FROM THE MASTER OF LAZINESS! HAHA…NAA I’M NOT THAT LAZY…

Here below is just a few “SECRETS” I’d like to share with ya all on how to be lazy! I know ya prolly do this all the time…but, I think it’s better written down!

1) IF OR WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT DOING SOMETHING, THAT REQUIRES SOME MOVEMENT OF THE BODY, OR IF YOUR GOING TO “BREAK A SWEAT” WHEN DOING THAT CERTAIN SOMETHING, STOP!! SHIT! RIGHT THERE YOU JUST DID TOO MUCH FOR YOURSELF!

2) DON’T DO ANYTHING IF YOU REALLY DON’T NEED TO! WHY STRAIN YOURSELF?

3) ONLY MOVE YOUR BODY AROUND FOR SHORT PERIODS OF TIME! JUST USE ENOUGH ENERGY TO GET OUT OF BED IF YA WANT TO AND WALK TO THE COUCH! IF THE REMOTE IS NEAR YOU, TRY AND GET IT….BUT, DON’T STRAIN YOURSELF! IF SOMEONE ELSE IS AROUND, HAVE THEM GET IT FOR YOU, AND OR HAVE THEM CHANGE THE CHANNELS FOR YOU! SHIT! EVEN THAT MIGHT BE TOO MUCH FOR YA…WHO KNOWS…EACH PERSON IS DIFFERENT.

4) WHEN IT COMES TO WORK, OR HAVING TO GET A JOB! DON’T! JUST FAKE A MENTAL ILLNESS OR SOMETHING AND COLLECT SSI MONEY A MONTH! THE ONLY WORK YOU REALLY HAVE TO DO THEN, IS….WALKING TO THE MAILBOX TO GET THE SSI CHECK!

5) IF YOUR A “THINKER”, JUST STOP IT! STOP THINKING ABOUT SHIT SO DAMN MUCH, YOU’LL END UP STRAINING YOURSELF EVENTUALLY!

6) IF YOU ALREADY HAVE A JOB NOW, AND SEE THESE SECRETS TO BEING LAZY AND START FOLLOWING THEM… THE NEXT DAY WHEN THE ALARM GOES OFF FOR YOU TO GET UP AND GET READY FOR WORK, JUST LET IT RING, OR SHUT IT OFF AND STAY IN BED! FUCK WORK! JUST SLEEP AND RELAX ALL DAY WATCHING MOVIES AND TV! THEN HAVE SOMEONE TAKE YOU TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL THREE TIMES VOLUNTARY AND THEY SHOULD HOOK YOU UP WITH SSI! YOU WON’T NEED THAT DAMN TIRESOME BULLSHIT JOB ANYMORE! YOU’LL COLLECT MONEY A MONTH FOR BEING A LAZY, FREELOADING BASTARD!

Shit! I just gave away my brother’s secrets to being lazy, not mine! O well….fuck it! Hahaha….damn I’m outie…lataz..

Twisted