Ever since I started this full time job, my strength has gone, I lost a good few pounds, I feel like shit, I look like shit, my body is nothing but shit. It’s fucked up! I don’t under-fer-fuckin-stand it at all… you’d think working them long 10 hour days and shit, I’d be gaining strength and such…but it’s really making my body worse.

My back is always aching, my body in general is not like it used to be, my outlook on people has gotten worser, everything is just gone to shit. I just don’t feel like doing anything…I’m only 28 years old and I feel like an old man that should be in a nursing home.

I think I better get a good physical and shit, and maybe a few tests in other areas as well. I’m starting to wonder if my body has been so used to doing lite work or whatever…such as part time jobs (nursing home shit) and being home alot on the net, that my body just doesn’t want to change course. I want this job for the money and benefits and such, but shit….I have been thinking about all this shit and maybe I should go for two part time “cake” jobs or something lol!!

Here’s what I think is wrong:

1) Depressed- Because my life sucks, the people in it suck, my now ex-girlfriends always fucked me over and I kept getting hurt, and I’m afraid to get with any girls anymore in fear of going through the same fucking bullshit repeatedly! Which leads to number 2..

2) Alone- Being that I don’t want the same shit happening again with girlfriends, I really don’t go out trying to find someone new… but yet, it sucks being alone… I hate it! Life isn’t fair, especially mine… “LIFE”! YOU SUCK!!

3) Inactive- Since I have gotten this job, I’m not very active at home. I spend more time sleeping and shit then anything else. Here is what goes on for the four days of work… Mon through Thurs…. I go to work at 4:30pm to 3am…get home…eat and watch some t.v. and get online to check emails and shit….go to sleep about 6am….sleep till fucking 2pm or 3pm, get dressed and ready for work and the shit repeats.

It also sucks, because when I get off work at 3am early Friday morning, I get home…eat and such….then sleep most of the day because I’m tired and it’s my “rest time” after work….and then the weekends fly by quicker then shit…and it’s back to the same schedule.. Either way you look at it, working 10 hours a fucking day…sucks massive horse wang! I need something different…this is taking it’s toll on my body or something…

4) Anti-Social- I haven’t been really socialable like before, I really don’t care if I talk to anyone or see anyone. I’m sick of drama, I’m sick of the usual bullshit that comes from being around someone, their problems, and them alone.

Everytime I had met up with friends and shit, there was always some form of drama! 99% of the time it was bitchy females “playing” us guy friends all the time trying to start shit between us. I’m sick of it…I don’t really want friends anymore, I don’t want shit…well, that’s a lie..I want my cigarettes and beer and tunes… Just to go some where and get plastered by myself and jam out or some shit..