incinerator Archives » Vindictive Bastard

The summer heat…

Twisted / 9 June, 2008 / Leave a Comment

The quick and simple way to lose that extra meat!

Unlike most normal folks out there, ya know… those with money that can afford air conditioners and shit… If you a broke dick, cheap bastard like myself, you can’t afford those wonderful things like everyone else does…

Cheap bastards like me just learn to live with it, and have to suffer with the unbearable summer heat. I mean, even IF you shaved all the hair off your body, went around naked in the house, and turned fans on… you’re still gonna end up losing the pounds by the hour / day and still feel like a Jew in an Incinerator (oven).

Hey, one good thing at least… Once ya FINALLY make it to Hell with your daddy Satan, you’ll be used to the heat. That, and you’ll be reunited with your family again, like one huge happy family reunion! Skinny as hell too, not to mention hairless, if you shaved all the hair off your body! Either way, it’d be burnt off in Hell anyway when ya got there…so fuck it.

Not to mention, you’ll be looking nice for that reunion. So fat bastards, and anyone else… if you wanna lose that extra meat the cheap affordable way, get naked, lose the air conditioners, and shave off all that hair… Free ball it bastards!

Anyway, I gotta get back on the scale again… I think I lost another 2 pounds typing this post out in my Incinerator… I mean, the oven… tata!

air conditioner, family reunion, hairless, heat, hell, incinerator, Jew, oven, Satan, scale, shave, summer

Damn Jew Burners…

I can’t wait until fucking winter is over, then I don’t gotta worry about turning on the damn Jew Burner in my bedroom… Shit!

I know, I know… what the fuck is a Jew Burner… I’ll tell ya, it’s a heater. Yep, that’s what I call the heater in my room. Since the old farm house heaters suck ass and ya can’t feel much heat at all, I had to put one of those stand up fan/ heaters and shit so it blows it out so you can feel it better and faster…

Turn it on HIGH and shortly afterwards you’ll feel like a Jew in an incinerator… hence the nickname “Jew Burner”… Don’t get all bent now, I ain’t full blown German and I ain’t prejudice (against Jews) but I sure as fuck would love to have Hitler for a dad… that’d be awesome! I want his hair style for sure… just not the mustache.

Welp, time to turn off the Jew Burner.. damn I’m cooking up while writing this post.. shit.

P.S. And yes, I know the Jew Burner is really an “oven”, but when my heater on high, it feels like being in an oven.. hence the nickname “Jew Burner” for sarcastic purposes only of course.. Relax!