cock

Dear Mother Satan, please shut the fuck up and adjust that crooked tampon…

Bitches Rants

Ah yes, another day at shit work and nothing like a pissy whiny “Mother Satan” old bossy bitch lady to make things even more enjoyable! NOT!

Anyway, here’s what happened today… I got into work today and she asked me if I painted over the weekend. I replied “yes, why?” She said, “where did you get the paint from?” I thought, “I waited for it to drip from your pussy, the best paint is old lady discharge.”

Anyway, I said, “the paint closet.” She said, “that paint was lotted for a project. You should have asked before using it.” I said, “well Don (The main painter guy there) told me to get more if I needed it!” She replied, “okay, but yeah, you need to ask first because paint is expensive.” Of course I was thinking, “No shit, Sherlock!”

To get the bitch out of my face quickly, I left it go. Later I find out, the project she was talking about was the one I STARTED MYSELF. The part of the building that I specifically asked her if I could paint myself, and she said yes too!

And turns out, the area I started myself was already basically painted with the same paint from a previous batch of paint, that I was told to go ahead and use anyway! So really, I didn’t use that much of the NEW batch of paint to finish the supposed “lotted/special” project she was getting pissy about to begin with! That Don guy was going to do it anyway! Really, I helped save their paint in the end!

How about this bitch, adjust that crooked Depends version of a tampon you got crammed up your pussy sideways collecting that old hag drainage and discharge and keep the lips zipped… I don’t need to hear your old ramblings of bullshit…

Keep stepping, keep moving, keep the mouth closed and pretend you’re doing your job in your office away from me, because you suck horse Willies and I’m Mr. Awesome at work…

Hey, I know you’re jealous of me, but please, please don’t take it out on me because you know everyone hates you and thinks you’re a fucking bitch with a steal and jagged pointy dildo shoved up your ass (so it ain’t gonna melt) while the crooked tampon is up the old hag twat sideways…

Face the facts bitch, you really ain’t my boss. Shut.The.Fuck.Up. I don’t want to hear your bitch mouth. Here’s some tissues…stop crying and clean up that discharge cunt!

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Various vagina lips…

General

Okay, this was brought up in another post of mine. Why do female pussy lips vary in shapes, and looks?

I mean, you have the famous “hamburger bun” lips, and “camel toes”. Which are HOT!! Then you have those pussy lips that just look like a wrinkled old grandmas pussy, sagging there like wrinkled slop of flesh… wtf!?!?!?

Here, I’ve gone ahead and rounded up some image examples from the internet, this way you can see what I’m talking about…

(These are nudes of chicks, please be advised! NSFW!!)

a) Here’s an example of the “hamburger bun” or “camel toe” lips I was talking about. Don’t it look Mmm, tasty!! Here’s one that’s pretty much the same too, except with her bent over like that, it looks like an EMBEDDED YO-YO…

b) Here’s another shot of the same chick’s pussy that you seen above there. But, with her spread eagle like that, it looks like a “Double Heart”.. don’t it?

c) Here’s another one, I’m going to call it the “Slit Clit”… Why? Because it has a nice slit up the middle of the clit. Nothing protruding and shit…That’s a nice one too…

d) Here’s another one, I’m going to call it the “clam”. Why? Because don’t it kinda look like a clam? It’s a nice one too… Licky licky, slip in the dicky…

e) (Forewarning, most guys might not want to look at this one) Here’s another one too. This one is gross looking. Why? Because it looks like the lady not only dildo herself with a normal dildo, but a Chef Knife too, looks all bloody and shit.. Ewww!! SICK!

f) Here’s another one, this is another gross one. This is one of those “What the hell is it? Is it safe to put my dick in this?” pussies…

g) (Forewarning; not really because it’s gross, but because there’s a guys cock in it as well.) Here’s another one, this is going to get the name “Gaping Maw”… Well, you’ll understand why I gave it that name then, once you seen it .. LOL!

h) Here’s another one, this is the “Slop of Fuck” I was talking about.. What the hell is this shit?!?!? Is it safe to put a dick in this or what?!?!?! Eeek!

Anyway, yeah.. I think that about sums it up for various pussy lips. If I happened to miss some, let me know!

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A MOUTH ONLY A COCK WOULD LOVE…

Bitches

“You” wouldn’t have to worry about drag marks, or deep gouges. Open up wider Krystole, I mean toothless.. in cums a cock!

Krystole the wonder stealer!

While browsing online, it’s amazing the shit you can find on people.. If I was this chick waking up every fucking morning, and had to look at this face in the damn mirror, that’s if it didn’t break first though! I’d probably want to commit suicide..

No, scratch that! I’d probably want to do one of the following things first though! (Krystole’s thoughts of course!)

1.) Rather then spend waste all damn day and night fixing my pictures with Photoshop, I could just shave down a few Chicklets and super glue them where needed..

2.) If the Chicklets method didn’t work, then I would probably go through the public welfare system! Hey! Even though I don’t deserve to be on it to begin with, I wouldn’t care!

I would just use my Medical Assistance card at the nearest dentist for a major overhaul on the teeth! The total cost might come to around $2,000.00 dollars or so, but, I wouldn’t have to pay it! All you hard working folks would have too!

3.) If the above two things failed, which it probably would because I’m a dumbass like that like, I could always just ask one of the chicks in which I steal site layouts, pictures, and other shit from, to punch me in the fucking mouth a few times until the rest of the teeth fell out!

Hey! No teeth would better than what I have now right!?!

P.S. After taking a look at that picture again, I don’t even think a horse that bathed in cow shit three times would want a blow job from her..

I can just picture it now, while she’s down there trying to give the horse a knob job.. it back kicks her in the face knocking out the rest of those brown teeth.. and then runs off to the farmer holding a shotgun..

(Please note: I did NOT get this image myself, from any of this person’s site(s), I got it through other sources! If you don’t like it, my balls need washed, start licking bitches!)

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