booze

For all you cat lovers out there, ya might wanna get a box of tissues ready… cause this story isn’t pretty…

Like I just posted on my buddies BRAND NEW site, I-AM-MEAN.COM. Here’s a little story that happened while hanging out with an old hick buddy of mine…

While I was still in middle school, me and my hick friend were hanging out at his barn and found a stray kitty cat. Like a couple of rebel teenagers, we were drinking booze and liquor…

I then made the remark to him, “Wait, how long has it been since you had pussy?” He said, “Oh, a few year!” I said, “Well, there’s one for ya! You didn’t even have to search for one, it came to YOU!” Anyway, like a couple of rebel teenagers drinking booze and crap, decided to fuck with the pussy cat a bit…

First, we put milk in it’s bowl, then I attempted to try and get the cat to drink kerosene, being that it’s clear and doesn’t really have an oder to it… But the fucking cat wouldn’t drink it!! Damn it! So, I then grabbed the lighter and lit the kerosene on fire in front of it’s face… cat didn’t like THAT too much.. LOL!

Then, we tried ramming an M80 up it’s ass, lighting it and run. Damn cat squealed and screamed like a motherfucker… Of course it would, it was getting an M80 rammed up it’s ass. LOL! Damn cat wouldn’t stay still for us, so … hick buddy decided to lock it in this little cage, then run over it with the riding lawnmower… boy, did the cat hate that one too…

I then said, “Welp, I guess we’re not getting any pussy tonight!”