miss jackie

Mr. Sarcastic Charismatic Asshole-astic Wonderfully Fantastic…

General It Is Said

Yeah, that’s me. I guess you could also say I’m immature and so forth as well. But, oh well, fuck it to hell! Why? Because, it’s just ME! And I’m wonderfully awesome no matter what anyone else thinks…because yeah, that’s just how it is…

For example; when I used to be a shitty custodian at the local YMCA, I cleaned it so spotless and wonderful that they needed to wear sunglasses about a 1 mile radius from it… No matter the shittiest job on this planet of shit, I could make things so wonderfully awesome and spotless… Even if I was shoveling Miss. Jackie’s cow shit…

The farmers would look in amazement… “Wow, I need that guy to be MY farm-hand!” Anyway, I don’t know what the point of this post WAS, really. I guess just to brag a little bit, but I guess since I did all that, I should head to bed.

That’s if I could even sleep, because I shine so bright from my glow of awesomeness. Damn, where’s the night shades at… I’d hate to keep myself awake because of myself. Anyway, I’m off to bed… \m/ rock on!!

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Miss Jackie gets a make over!

It Is Said

Miss Jackie evidently thought she should get a make over in order to attract me. I’m not sure where she got that crazy idea from, but I’m guessing she missed her medications again…

Anyway, since she wasn’t nice enough to send me her BEFORE and AFTER pictures herself, I had to dig them up myself… Here they are below!

BEFORE
Miss Jackie Before The Make Over...

Now, here’s her AFTER picture…

Miss Jackie After The Make Over...

Now doesn’t she look SO MUCH better folks!? Oh my God, that’s a huge improvement! Doesn’t she look better though? Actually, she kinda looks like Heidi too… Hmm…

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Knick, Knack, Paddy Whack (This Old Man)

Bitches It Is Said

It’s that time again people, time for another version of a nursery rhyme Twisted style! Sing it people!

Knick, Knack, Paddy Whack (Miss Jackie Is Fat, Ugly, And Needs A Smack)…

This fat ugly sow, she played two, she played knick knack while eating her poo. Ew Ewww… With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This cattle fucking slut, she played four, she played knick knack while dressed up like a stable whore standing at the stable door. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This ugly whore bag bitch, she played six, she played knick knack while fucking huge ass elephant dicks. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This vomit equivalent ugly ass bitch, she played eight, she played knick knack while tied up at the front gate. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This sick bitch, she played ten, she played knick knack while dry humping “Big Ben”. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This pussy stinking big bitch, she played eleven, she played knick knack down below in hell because even if Jesus was drunk he wouldn’t let her in Heaven. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This acne and pimple infested ugly sow, she played twelve, she played knick knack while eating all junk food from the grocery store shelves. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

Well, that’s all folks! More Twisted style Nursery Rhymes coming later… Here’s the link to the original version of the Nursery Rhyme…

This was originally posted Dec 2, 3007… Just wanted to bring back some old laughs.

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