hell Archives » Vindictive Bastard

Single mothers = cry me a river bullshit song and dance

Twisted / 11 September, 2011 / Leave a Comment

All these mothers, single mothers, and etc.. want a man, a relationship with a man or whatever… But yet, don’t give two shits in the wind about the man anyway…

Last I knew, relationships were about the female and male, raising and love the both mutual parties kids as a family whole. The mom, the step dad, the kids. Or, Dad, and the step mom. Loving each other… to raise the kids under the same roof. Nope, apparently not. The mothers are always downsizing, belittling, and short sizing their lover the male friend. Don’t give a shit about him anyway.. he’s the bottom of the totem pole from day one.. INSTANT FAMILY FAIL!! FAIL ALERT!!!

All these females so unhappy in their current shit relationships, still sharing beds with them, loving them.. but bitching about them daily.. whilst trying to find a new man.. are the heifers n sows in the amish man’s field grazing… They don’t know HOW to kick the dirt off their back, but yet want it done to them… They play all these fucking mind games, bitch at the guys, put us down for our wrong doings.. But yet, they do all the same things themselves…

HYPOCRITE BITCHES FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL! GO FUCK YOURSELVES, DILDO YOURSELVES WITH A HOT ROT IRON SHAFT AND PENETRATE YOUR HEART YOU FUCKING CLUT BAG, SLUT BAG, FATTY BITCH… YOU DESERVE AND GET WHATS GIVEN AND YOU HAD.. YOUR INTENTIONS OF CHANGE WILL NEVER HAPPEN BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE NOT TOO. BE HAPPY AND MERRY WITH THE SHIT LIFE YOU BITCH ABOUT, AND KEEP RUNNING AND BITCHING ABOUT THE MEN THAT ACTUALLY THINK AND BELIEVE YOU’RE WORTH HAVING. KEEP PUTTING US DOWN… IT WILL GET YOU FARTHER.. REALLY NOT THO… BUT WHATEVER… FUCK OFF.. FUCK THIS, FUCK THAT, FUCK IT ALL….

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The perfect “Girlfriend”, every man knows it’s true too!

General

Twisted / 27 February, 2010 / Leave a Comment

How can a man deny that a love doll like her above, couldn’t be the perfect “Girlfriend” for them? I mean seriously, here below is WHY they can’t deny she’d be the perfect girlfriend…

1.) She ain’t going to be a nagging bitch, she’ll keep her fucking mouth shut and take it like the little whore she is… And! You don’t have to worry about her complaining on your man size to any other chick. She’ll take you as you are, and be happy with you! She ain’t going to lie and go behind your back, giggling and making fun of your pleasure palace size or thickness to other nasty slutty whore-bag bitches..

2.) They only have to “buy her love” once, once a receipt is given at the cash register, then it’s done. No more money needs to be invested into the “Rubbermaid” bitch. She’s already built to perfection, and won’t need hair care products, nail polish, she ain’t going to need shoes, nor fed. She’s perfect how she is out of the box, and all at one low price! Drop pants, shove in your cock, cum, and done.

3.) Look at them tits! They’re fucking huge! Mmm, I’m getting horny over her sitting there, teasing me with them big titties. I just want to titty fuck them and cum all over her face! Hell, she won’t care, and she sure as hell ain’t going to complain… “Oh you bastard, you shot a load in my eye!” … Fucking bitch can’t speak, no complaints to worry about at all!

There you have it dumb fucks! The perfect girlfriend!

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Mr. Sarcastic Charismatic Asshole-astic Wonderfully Fantastic…

General It Is Said

Twisted / 26 August, 2008 / Leave a Comment

Yeah, that’s me. I guess you could also say I’m immature and so forth as well. But, oh well, fuck it to hell! Why? Because, it’s just ME! And I’m wonderfully awesome no matter what anyone else thinks…because yeah, that’s just how it is…

For example; when I used to be a shitty custodian at the local YMCA, I cleaned it so spotless and wonderful that they needed to wear sunglasses about a 1 mile radius from it… No matter the shittiest job on this planet of shit, I could make things so wonderfully awesome and spotless… Even if I was shoveling Miss. Jackie’s cow shit…

The farmers would look in amazement… “Wow, I need that guy to be MY farm-hand!” Anyway, I don’t know what the point of this post WAS, really. I guess just to brag a little bit, but I guess since I did all that, I should head to bed.

That’s if I could even sleep, because I shine so bright from my glow of awesomeness. Damn, where’s the night shades at… I’d hate to keep myself awake because of myself. Anyway, I’m off to bed… \m/ rock on!!

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Fucking debt collectors…

Rants

Twisted / 18 August, 2008 / Leave a Comment

There’s nothing worse then debt collectors calling every god damn couple of hours of every god damn day…

I swear, they call more than family, girlfriend, friends, and general other idiots and assholes you never wanna hear from. Hell, I’d rather hear from the idiots and assholes, then the debt collectors…

Usually when they call and ask for me, I just tell them one of the following:

“Oh, he’s at work. He’s trying to make the money to pay you guys off so you stop fucking annoying the hell out of him with your god damn daily phone calls!”
I’m sorry, but he’s currently unavailable. He’s outside burning up all those worthless piece of shit letters you’re send him on daily basis.
I’m sorry, he can’t come to the phone right now. He’s out buying more alcoholic beverages with the money that he should be paying you off with…
I’m sorry, I’m currently… I mean, he’s currently unavailable at the moment, can I take yet ANOTHER god damn message from you!?!? I mean after all! It’s only been an hour since you last called…
Hey! It’s YOU again, I haven’t heard from you since yesterday!! How’s the family doing?
Hi, I’m sorry but Spencer died the other day. He no longer is with us. If you want, I can give you his new number and address. 1-666-666-6666 and his address is: 666 Satan Drive, Hell, 66666. Good luck getting ahold of him.
Hey there! I’m sorry, but I really don’t give a shit how much I owe you. Oh wait, this is his brother, I’m sorry. Can I take a message?
You know, you call more than my ex-wife does, when she needs the kids watched? And that’s pretty damn much. My as well just have them signed over to me, and you too! Whoo Hoo!
You know, rather then spending all this time and money trying to get ahold of ME, why not just wait until I get ahold of you? That way; the debt amount due never goes up, nor will the fucking collection fees.
Hello again god damn it, how about this; rather than calling for Spencer all the god damn fucking time, why not just move your “firm” into his house!? That way, you don’t have to call and call, or send out repeat letters all the time. You can just wake him up in the morning in his bedroom, and drive him fucking nuts that way!?!? OR, just be around him all the time in general until he commits suicide… then he won’t owe you SHIT!

The other thing I hate though too, is they sometimes “act” like they’re your friend or something…”Hey, is Spencer there? Tell him this is Mike! Remember me?!” I reply… “Wait, who this again? Mike from where?” I swear they’re getting just as smart “trick” wise, than we are!! Fucking god damn bastards!!

Me: If it’s so easy, can you make the first $50.00 payment for me…..? Or give me your credit card or checking acct. info so I can make that first payment…?

OR:

Them: Hello…Mr. Spencer…..I’m calling about a debt that you’ve created in 1999! I was just wondering if you’d like to take care of that today….??

Me: Well…! If you haven’t caught on by now…I really didn’t have any intentions on paying anything on it, especially if it’s from 1999 and haven’t made one single payment since I created the debt in 1999. Now kindly lick my hairy (recently just shaven) nut sack!!

God! I SHOULD get a job as a Debt Collector! Of course, I’d probably end up having to call myself all the time… ah well, at least I’d enjoy a conversation with myself!! Hell, might get better responses and have some actual desire of paying off debts… Ummm, NOT!

Knowing ME, I’d get into the “system” and give myself a ZERO BALANCE! HAHAHAHA! Fuck, I need to get a job at these collection firms… shit! Anyway, I’m out for now… I gotta call the girlfriend and then get to bed so I can wake up to a debt collector calling me at 7 or 8am… FUCK! Tata!

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The summer heat…

General

Twisted / 9 June, 2008 / Leave a Comment

The quick and simple way to lose that extra meat!

Unlike most normal folks out there, ya know… those with money that can afford air conditioners and shit… If you a broke dick, cheap bastard like myself, you can’t afford those wonderful things like everyone else does…

Cheap bastards like me just learn to live with it, and have to suffer with the unbearable summer heat. I mean, even IF you shaved all the hair off your body, went around naked in the house, and turned fans on… you’re still gonna end up losing the pounds by the hour / day and still feel like a Jew in an Incinerator (oven).

Hey, one good thing at least… Once ya FINALLY make it to Hell with your daddy Satan, you’ll be used to the heat. That, and you’ll be reunited with your family again, like one huge happy family reunion! Skinny as hell too, not to mention hairless, if you shaved all the hair off your body! Either way, it’d be burnt off in Hell anyway when ya got there…so fuck it.

Not to mention, you’ll be looking nice for that reunion. So fat bastards, and anyone else… if you wanna lose that extra meat the cheap affordable way, get naked, lose the air conditioners, and shave off all that hair… Free ball it bastards!

Anyway, I gotta get back on the scale again… I think I lost another 2 pounds typing this post out in my Incinerator… I mean, the oven… tata!

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Conversations with myself, because the wall is on vacation…

Feelings It Is Said

Twisted / 15 December, 2007 / Leave a Comment

Yeah, usually I have nice conversations with the wall here in my room, but the fucking bastard decided it was vacation time and just up and left me here…

Ah well, I have awesome conversations with myself anyway!! It also minimizes the chance for a nasty argument too. Anyway, here is one of the latest conversations with myself…

Me: Self, what’s the fucking point of talking to people anyway? I mean, what the hell… it’s not like they’re going to care what you say, they aren’t going to talk to you anyway when they tell you to call or hit them up on messengers… They never answering nor returning calls and messages anyway…

Self: I know what you’re saying, I know how you feel too. My suggestion is, fuck em all!! FUCK EM ALL TO HELL!!!!!!! FUCK EM TO THE CURBS AND FUCK THEIR ROTTING DECAYING BODIES…

Me: Woah there killer! For one thing, I’m NOT into fucking rotting decaying bodies. But, if I WAS, it wouldn’t be with anyone but myself!

Yeah, you heard right… I’d fuck myself right in my decaying tight asshole. Why not right? I mean fuck, I’m always being bent over and getting railed in the ass anyway… fuck it!!

Fuck people, fuck phones, fuck messengers, fuck life, fuck feelings, fuck respect, fuck jobs, fuck the Law, fuck probation, fuck fines, fuck myself, fuck everything else… and last but not least; fuck you too! FUUUUUUUUUUCK!! I WISH I COULD GET DRUUUUUNK!!! FUCKING SUCKS MONKEY BALLS AND LICKS HORSE ASS!!!!!!!! FUCKING PROBATION!!!!!!!! FUCKING EVERYTHING!!!! FUCK IT TO HELL!!

Self: I couldn’t have said it better myself!

Me: Wait, you are myself!

Self: Oh that’s right, I keep forgetting.

Me: Yeah dumb-fuck, now go fuck yourself too…

Self: Okay!

Jesus!, I love the conversations I have with myself…Now kindly go fuck yourselves…

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Various vagina lips…

General

Twisted / 12 December, 2007 / Leave a Comment

Okay, this was brought up in another post of mine. Why do female pussy lips vary in shapes, and looks?

I mean, you have the famous “hamburger bun” lips, and “camel toes”. Which are HOT!! Then you have those pussy lips that just look like a wrinkled old grandmas pussy, sagging there like wrinkled slop of flesh… wtf!?!?!?

Here, I’ve gone ahead and rounded up some image examples from the internet, this way you can see what I’m talking about…

(These are nudes of chicks, please be advised! NSFW!!)

a) Here’s an example of the “hamburger bun” or “camel toe” lips I was talking about. Don’t it look Mmm, tasty!! Here’s one that’s pretty much the same too, except with her bent over like that, it looks like an EMBEDDED YO-YO…

b) Here’s another shot of the same chick’s pussy that you seen above there. But, with her spread eagle like that, it looks like a “Double Heart”.. don’t it?

c) Here’s another one, I’m going to call it the “Slit Clit”… Why? Because it has a nice slit up the middle of the clit. Nothing protruding and shit…That’s a nice one too…

d) Here’s another one, I’m going to call it the “clam”. Why? Because don’t it kinda look like a clam? It’s a nice one too… Licky licky, slip in the dicky…

e) (Forewarning, most guys might not want to look at this one) Here’s another one too. This one is gross looking. Why? Because it looks like the lady not only dildo herself with a normal dildo, but a Chef Knife too, looks all bloody and shit.. Ewww!! SICK!

f) Here’s another one, this is another gross one. This is one of those “What the hell is it? Is it safe to put my dick in this?” pussies…

g) (Forewarning; not really because it’s gross, but because there’s a guys cock in it as well.) Here’s another one, this is going to get the name “Gaping Maw”… Well, you’ll understand why I gave it that name then, once you seen it .. LOL!

h) Here’s another one, this is the “Slop of Fuck” I was talking about.. What the hell is this shit?!?!? Is it safe to put a dick in this or what?!?!?! Eeek!

Anyway, yeah.. I think that about sums it up for various pussy lips. If I happened to miss some, let me know!

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Knick, Knack, Paddy Whack (This Old Man)

Bitches It Is Said

Twisted / 2 December, 2007 / Leave a Comment

It’s that time again people, time for another version of a nursery rhyme Twisted style! Sing it people!

Knick, Knack, Paddy Whack (Miss Jackie Is Fat, Ugly, And Needs A Smack)…

This fat ugly sow, she played two, she played knick knack while eating her poo. Ew Ewww… With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This cattle fucking slut, she played four, she played knick knack while dressed up like a stable whore standing at the stable door. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This ugly whore bag bitch, she played six, she played knick knack while fucking huge ass elephant dicks. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This vomit equivalent ugly ass bitch, she played eight, she played knick knack while tied up at the front gate. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This sick bitch, she played ten, she played knick knack while dry humping “Big Ben”. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This pussy stinking big bitch, she played eleven, she played knick knack down below in hell because even if Jesus was drunk he wouldn’t let her in Heaven. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This acne and pimple infested ugly sow, she played twelve, she played knick knack while eating all junk food from the grocery store shelves. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

Well, that’s all folks! More Twisted style Nursery Rhymes coming later… Here’s the link to the original version of the Nursery Rhyme…

This was originally posted Dec 2, 3007… Just wanted to bring back some old laughs.

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Nosy bastards, getting in the business..

Bitches Rants

Twisted / 9 March, 2007 / Leave a Comment

I know this doesn’t just happen in my shitty State of Pennsylvania, but, I fucking hate nosy bastards that love being in other’s business…

There’s nothing like talking with a friend, or whatever the hell, and some nosy ass cunt just has to be there listening. Ya also can’t forget the stretching of the neck to see what you’re doing, or not doing, and blah blah fuckity do blah…

As a follow up on the ex-wife’s husband finding out about us fucking and shit. I think it was because of some nosy cunt that was leaving the place I was working, seen us both together out front… then told her hubby at the store they both work at. She must be one of their customers or some shit.

FUCKING NOSY BITCH! IF I WANTED YOU TO KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING, I’D PULL YA ASIDE, FUCK YA, AND THEN TELL YA!! NAH, I’D TELL YA WHILE I WAS FUCKING YA!

JESUS FUCK PEOPLE! STAY THE FUCK OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S BUSINESS!! WHEN YOU’RE THERE TALKING TO YOUR NOSY PRICK BASTARD FRIEND’S, I AIN’T THERE PEEKING MY HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS LISTENING IN ON THE BUSINESS…

SO STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY ASS, DAMN!

My own shit don’t have any room to live now, because nosy bitches are trying to occupy their space… I can just picture it now.. my terds living and sleeping on sidewalks because they homeless..

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A few more hours, days, whatever the fuck..

General

Twisted / 31 July, 2006 / Leave a Comment

And this blog is going to hell, and you’re going with it! Hahaha, nah.. but.. it will be going back to it’s original state of postings and such though..

Since I didn’t have a new domain name before, I pretty much had to turn this blog into a mellow, blog.. unlike what it’s really supposed to be for.. sigh..

Anyways..I just wanted to let everyone know ahead of time, that the “better” posts from here.. will be moving to the new domain name.. and then the original posting style for this blog will be back to normal again.. That’s all, that’s it.. no more shit! Later ppls..

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