god damn

Hot and steamy chirpy farts…

General It Is Said

Ya know what REALLY sucks? Having those hot and steamy chirpy farts… Or as I also like to call them, “Silent but deadly farts”.

Ya know, those farts you get after eating alot of hot and spicy foods and such? Damn they suck! Besides having the feeling of a Volcano about to explode, you’re worrying about the hot molten lava shit that will flow out of your asshole, burning off your asshole, hairs, and anything else in it’s path…

On top of all THAT shit, hot and steamy farts are very unpredictable! Just when you think you’re going to let out a hot and steamy stinky chirpy fart, it turns out to be hot liquid shit, or in other words: diarrhea. God damn that shit really sucks. And I mean that literally. I guess the only true prevention of that, is to not eat hot and spicy foods and such.

Um, yeah right! I gotta have my hot and spicy foods! Oh shit, I’ll be back in a little bit…the Volcano is about to blow! More Cheyenne Pepper please!

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Lottery Players….

Rants

Ok, I seriously need to get this off my chest…

PLEASE INCLUDE A LOTTERY TICKET BUYING LINE IN ALL THE DAMN STORES!!!

I’m fucking god damn fuckity fuckin tired of waiting SIX TO TWELVE HOURS IN A LINE AT THE TURKEY HILL MINI MART BECAUSE SOME OLD DUMBASS GRANDMA WANTS TO PLAY THE LOTTERY, AND YET DOESN’T KNOW FOR SURE WHAT SHE WANTS ANYWAY, BECAUSE SHE A STUPID FUCK….

People Please!! Know what the fuck you’re going to buy before entering the damn store! I’m really getting sick and tired of waiting roughly twelve hours in line to pay for ONE THING, (usually for cigarettes) because your fucking dumb ass wants to buy $20 to $50.00 dollars worth of tickets n shit, and STILL don’t know what the fuck you want anyway…

2.) IF YOU’RE GOING TO PLAY THE LOTTERY LIKE THE DUMBASS WHICH YOU ARE, KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT AHEAD OF TIME BEFORE GOING TO THE STORE!

3.) RATHER THEN WASTE YOUR MONEY ON SHIT LOTTERY TICKETS, WHICH 99.999999999% OF THE TIME YOU WON’T WIN ANYWAY, USE YOUR MONEY ON MORE USEFUL STUFF LIKE: HAVING THEM BUILD AN EXPRESS LANE JUST FOR YOU SORRY STUPID FUCKS!

THIS WAY ALL THE NORMAL SMART FOLKS THAT GO THERE TO BUY AND GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE CAN ACTUALLY DO JUST THAT! JUST BECAUSE YOU WANNA LIVE THERE, DON’T ME WE ALL DO! SORRY!

4.) FOR ALL THE MONEY SPENT ON SHITTY LOTTERY TICKETS, WASTING ALL US SMART FOLK’S PRECIOUS TIMES IN THE STORES WAITING ON YOUR SORRY ASS, YOU COULD HAVE GIVEN IT TO PEOPLE THAT ACTUALLY NEED IT! THE HOMELESS AND LESS FORTUNATE!

5.) THINK THIS EVERY TIME YOU WANNA WASTE YOUR MONEY ON TICKETS:

“I THINK I’LL STAY HOME AND BE LIKE EVERY OTHER SMART NORMAL JOE OUT IN THE WORLD. I WON’T WIN ANYWAY BECAUSE I’M A LOSER!

AND SINCE I’M THE TOWN’S BIGGEST LOSER, I’LL BE SMART AND STAY THE FUCK HOME! THIS WAY “WE BOTH” WIN. ALL THOSE NORMAL FOLKS CAN BUY AND GO, RATHER THEN WAIT ON MY LOSER ASS! AND “I” WON’T LOSE MY MONEY!

THAT’S A BRILLIANT IDEA! YEAH, THAT’S WHAT I’LL DO, I’LL JUST STAY THE FUCK HOME!”

6.) YOU KNOW, WITH THE COST OF GAS THESE DAYS, DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU’LL WIN BACK WHAT YOU’VE SPENT ON THE TICKETS AND THE GAS IT COST YOU TO DRIVE TO THE STORE TO BEGIN WITH?

AND FOR WHAT? NOTHING, EXCEPT MAKING PEOPLE WAIT TWELVE HOURS IN LINE BEHIND YA BECAUSE YOU A STUPID OLD BITCH, THAT DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YA WANT ANYWAY!

THANKS OLD BAG! THANKS A MILLION! NOT!!!!!!!

7.) GOING ALONG WITH 6.) ABOVE THERE: WILL YOU GIVE US THE MONEY TOWARDS OUR GAS, SINCE IT’S THE WINTER TIME YET AND WE ALL LET THE CARS RUN TO KEEP IT WARM?

AFTER WAITING A FUCKING WHOPPING TWELVES HOURS BEHIND YOUR SORRY OLD SAGGING ASS, OUR CARS ARE SUCKING DOWN THE GAS HAG… I’D LIKE $10.00 WORTH OF GAS PLEASE! THANKS YA OLD CUNT!

8.) JESUS FUCK! JUST STOP PLAYING THE LOTTERY ALREADY! DAMN IT!

9.) BY THE TIME YOU GET DONE BUYING THE FUCKING TICKETS, I’LL BE YOUR AGE BITCH! I WAS 30 ENTERING THE STORE AND EXITING THE STORE AT AGE 60!

10.) JUST STOP PLAYING THE FUCKING LOTTERY GOD DAMN IT!!!! STAY THE FUCK HOME! QUIT BEING A FUCKING DAMN DUMBASS! GIVE IT UP ALREADY!

YOU HAVEN’T WON SHIT YET, AND WON’T EVER WILL! BE SMART, GO COFFIN SHOPPIN BITCH! JUST STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE DAMN QUICKI MART STORES N SHIT!

BETTER YET, COMMIT SUICIDE. THEN YA WON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT PLAYING THE LOTTERY!

Jesus Fuck, I wish they just made a damn line for those dumbass lottery ticket playing assholes! Aight, I’m done with this shit.. tata you old lottery ticket playing motherfuckers…

P.S. YES! I’m being sarcastic with the 12 hours n shit, it just feels like that long waiting behind their old sagging asses.

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Can u make me something….

Rants

Can u make me something….

IF YOUR MY FRIEND…YOU WOULD… RIGHT?

COME ON NOW GOD DAMN IT! BASTARD WANNA BE… BUT… NOT BEING FRIENDS CAN LICK MY LEFT NUT AND SUCK THE RIGHT ONE TO BALANCE SHIT OUT DOWN THERE!

If your going to be a friend…BE ONE! Don’t go using people’s while throwing that bullshit line of: If your my friend….you would… right!? Or they just play head games like they did in highschool to get what they want….then repeatedly shit on you the next how many times over!

WATCH OUT FOR WONDERFUL USING BASTARD “FRIENDS”!

I dunno about you, but I got a nose for them. I can smell the shit coming from a mile away! Don’t fall for stupid little flirty girls, kids, anyone that likes to play head games with a temporary “flirtty” attitude or whatever. It’s only done if or when they think they would benefit from you! Once they got whatever their looking for…it’s… TIME TO TREAT YOU LIKE SHIT AGAIN!

** NEWS FLASH **

ALL THE USING BASTARD “FRIEND’S” WILL END UP WITH SHIT! BECAUSE… THAT’S ALL THEY ARE TO START WITH!

I’m done..laterz…

Twisted

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