sex

Photo album for you from Therese on Windows Live….

Feelings General Rants
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Don’t you just hate all these fucking teaser spam mail messages? I do! Sometimes they actually name someone I know personally! At first, I see the title and think… “Oh Boy! More pictures of this chick that I think is cute and sexy! Whoo Hoo!”

To this I say; MSN needs to control their fucking spammers better, because it’s bullshit. I’m tired of getting these fucking email notifications about people willing to share photos and etc, when they’re not real. They’re spammer fuckers, trying to lure your users in for a spam fest. And what’s really ironic and pisses me off is that all of the spam makes it to my email account, and that all of my legit friend’s emails and pictures lands in spam…

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AOL’s Point and Speak…

General
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A few years ago, I bought that AOL Point and Speak software… Why? Because, it’s every lazy person’s dream! You don’t have to type! You just chat into a stupid microphone and the software types it out for you!

It was SO awesome too! Well, KIND OF awesome anyway. It did SUCK having to go back through EVERYTHING you chatted out into text form and correcting all of the damn fuck-ups it’s done. Well, here’s a few examples I’ve found on some site…

I said into the mic: I can’t help falling in love with you
Point & Speak typed: I can’t help fully unload with you

I said into the mic: Amazing grace! how sweet the sound
Point & Speak typed: Amazing grace House sweep the sound

I said into the mic: Britney Spears
Point & Speak typed: Brady Spears (What? Did she have a sex change?)

I said into the mic: Then we will be debt-free!
Point & Speak typed: Then we will be dead free.

I said into the mic: …we’ve talked about taking a trip… possibly Jamaica, Florida or Hawaii.
Point & Speak typed: …we’ve talked about taking a trip… possibly Jamaica, Florida or why he.

I don’t know how all of those were fucked up, especially if the guy that was talking into the microphone wasn’t drunk!? Or, maybe he was, I’m not sure! Or, perhaps a drunk fuck created the software itself? Nah, because then everything would be typed into a slur…

I said into the mic: Congress has impeached President Bill Clinton for perjury and obstruction of justice in the matter of his affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky.
Point & Speak typed: Congress has in peach President Bill Clinton for perjury and obstruction of justice in the matter of his affair with White House intern Monaco whiskey.

I said into the mic: As for our family, we had an eventful year but a lovely Christmas.
Point & Speak typed: As for our family, we had uneventful year bought a lovely Christmas.

I said into the mic: …she is no longer “zoned out”…
Point & Speak typed: …she is no longer sold out…

I said into the mic: As for his behavior, it’s typical for a nine-year-old except for some mouthiness now and then.
Point & Speak typed: As for his behavior, it’s typical for a nine-year-old except for some Month-Ended-Down then.

I said into the mic: …he has moved in with Kathy and commutes to work each day.
Point & Speak typed: …he has moved in with Kathy and commits to work each day.

I said into the mic: Jim and Kathy
Point & Speak typed: GM and Kathy

I said into the mic: Dan & Joyce are okay.
Point & Speak typed: Dan and choice are okay.

I said into the mic: Patrick Ringer is selling Marie’s house. Patti may buy it.
Point & Speak typed: Patrick greater is selling Marie’s house. Patti may buy at.

I said into the mic: We paid for most of Joe’s orthodontia.
Point & Speak typed: We paid for most of Joe’s Orthodox a.

I said into the mic: We now pay Joe $3 per week in allowance
Point & Speak typed: We now paid Joel $3 per week in allowance

I said into the mic: Then we will be debt-free!
Point & Speak typed: Then we will be dead free.

I said into the mic: …empty tote boxes waiting to be filled with organized stuff
Point & Speak typed: …empty tote boxes waiting to be filled with organized of

I said into the mic: Go For It!
Point & Speak typed: Goal for it!

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New theme…

General
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Well, once again I went and spoiled myself with a new theme for VB. =D I know it’s a bit plain and simple, but ya gotta admit… it’s fucking sexy! I hope everyone else likes it, after all I spent $250.00 on it.

Of course, it’s the same as before. The theme is unique and one of a kind, so anyone else out there that has one like this… is a theme thief *cough* Krystal. And no, ya can’t have it either. Got $250.00 for it? No? Didn’t think so…

Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know about it, get word out, and I hope everyone likes it besides me… Some other things might be happening on here as well then… just have to find the time first… Aight, I think that’s about all.. tata!

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Myspace.com = Myshit.com…

Rants
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Yeah, good old fucking Myspace.com sent me the LAST fucking notification of a user wanting for me to add them…

I just couldn’t take anymore fucking emails, not to mention the bitch ass slutty whores that roam on there sending invite notifications to every Tom, Dick, and Harry… Take Karen the Cunt for instance… WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SLUT!?!?!?!?

I DON’T KNOW YOU FROM EVE, BITCH. God damn bitches and whores sending me invites and shit… then when I check out their shitty ass profiles, there’s never any normal decent pictures on there… Usually just nothing but sex related spammer bastard sites and shit.

FUCK YOU KAREN! AND FUCK YOU TOO, NATALIE! I’M DONE WITH THE SHITTY ASS FUCKING MYSPACE-FOR-YOUR-SLUTTISM.COM SHIT! MY ACCOUNT IS DELETED AND DONE, CANCELED AND FLUSHED! FUCK OFF YOU SPAMMER SLUT BITCHES! YOU AIN’T BUGGING ME NO MORE!

Here below are some Myspace.com names they SHOULD HAVE…

  1. myspace-the-global-home-of-the-whorebags.com
  2. myspace-sucks-horse-dick.com
  3. myspace-is-nothing-but-a-fucking-cesspool-of-shit-where-
    spammer-sluts-join-then-they-fucking-spam-you-invite-
    shit-because-they-fucking-loser-slut-whorebags-from-hell.com
  4. myspace-is-a-sorry-ass-place.com
  5. myspace-needs-drop-kicked-and-bitch-
    slapped-across-the-fucking-face.com
  6. myspace-needs-their-corporate-headquarters-burnt-
    to-the-fucking-ground-then-shit-on.com
  7. myspace-fucking-sucks-ass-and-needs-to-be-deleted.com
  8. myspace-forces-users-to-raise-their-screen-resolution-in-order-
    to-read-their-shitty-ass-special-messages-when-the-people-don’t-really
    give-a-flopping-fuck-about-them-anyway.com
  9. myspace-is-full-of-perverted-losers-just-out-to-bug-other-people-
    because-they-ain’t-getting-dates-and-girlfriends-on-their-own-so-
    what-better-to-do-then-sit-on-myspace-nagging-other-peoples-
    girlfriends-or-boyfriends.com
  10. myspace-just-needs-to-be-flushed-down-toilet-because-they-
    fucking-shit.com

And that’s about it for now. I could come up with more names for them, but really I have better things to do with my time… Like whack off to free porno! I’m out for the night… tata!

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Marriage = Jackshit!

Feelings
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I’m sure as hell not an “old-timer”, but, this is so true it’s not even funny anymore.

Nowadays, when someone wants to get “married”, they really mean, they want to be Boyfriend and Girlfriend. It’s just *not* like it used to be back in the day, meaning, when my grandparents were married and such.

Back then, they actually married because they *really* loved each other, *really* respected each other, and *really* stuck together until the “Death Do Us Part” shit actually happened!

These days, people get married today and divorced tomorrow, like a fad that just came in, and then went out over night! What the fuck people!? Why even bother getting married anymore, Jesus Christ!?

Here below is a small list on why “Marriage = Jackshit”.

1) About 78% of the time, either the hubby or the wife will cheat on their spouse, and not give two shits in the wind about it.

2) While one of the spouses are trying their hardest to put 100% into the marriage, the other spouse is only trying to put 1% into it.. which doesn’t mean shit, and doesn’t help the marriage for a shit!

3) The lack of communication, is usually, always, present in a marriage. While there is a lack of communication in a marriage, how in the hell is anything supposed to work, get done, get accomplished, or anything else for that matter?

My as well just buy a love doll and be done with it, you can fuck the shit out of it all day long, and not have to talk at all!

However, in most of my cases, when ever I was *trying* to communicate with my “lover”, it actually turned out to be the wall… but I’m not going to complain, the wall and I had some pretty good conversations going..

4) Numerous of times, the marriages are just based on sex.. fucking 7 times a day is awesome! However..when that’s all the marriage is based on.. you my as well flush the marriage license down the toilet with the rest of shit!

Because that’s where the marriage is heading anyway..

5) Incompatible “lovers” is another reason why marriages suck ass! It might be all fine and dandy while in the “dating stage” of it.. but, after being married for a while …have the first kid.. then it just starts going down the toilet.. Oh well.. fuck it! What else is new lol!

Well, that’s all I can come up with for now.. this article has been sitting on the back burner for almost three months now lol.. I just had to publish it.

I know there might be someone posting replies to the affect of, “well, that’s not entirely true”, or.. “My marriage is wonderful and strong, it’s been going on for years and years..”

I personally don’t give a flying fuck, I seriously don’t care how wonderful your marriage is.. or.. about marriage statistics. This article was written for mere sarcasm and to be funny.. can’t handle that, well..you could always just fuck off then..lol!

I’m done with this for now.. tata peoples..

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My Ex-Wife – The Bitch!!!!

Bitches
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I know I shouldn’t be really posting this, but fuck it lol. I know it got a lot of attention before so here it goes!

I need to get this all out some how, some where lol. I’ll just put down in a numbered format what I had to put up with 24-7!!

1) She is a total bitch!

2) If she isn’t a total bitch! She is a bitch of the bitches from HELL!!!

3) She is a spoiled little bitch that has to get her bitchy way!

4) All she does is start trouble and complain about everything and anything. Even if it’s stuff she does or wants to do, so she knows it’s how she wants things done, she still bitches.

5) She manipulates and plays the boss all the time and tries to control every situation.

6) If we get into arguments whenever, she always has the excuse to leave and run home to mommy, being that she is 21 now and should try and talk it out with me…no can’t do that.

7) She only acknowledges the bad that I do, and never the good, and rubs in my face how bad of a father or parent I am. When I’m the one that took care of our first son the majority of the time anyways….and he loves me more cause I was always there for him while she was always out running around and shit.

8.) She’ll expect me to watch the boys almost all the time while she goes out having fun, ramming and romping around where ever, which is no biggy to me, but when I want to run some where to do errands or whatever, she says, “Your leaving me with both of the boy’s” like it’s a chore or something, like BITCH!! What do you think happens to me 24-7 almost!!! But I’m such a bad parent, fuck you bitch and fuck off!!!! GO TO HELL!!!! WHORE BAG, MUSTACHE FACE, MAN LOOKING BITCH LMAO!!!!!

9) The bills are, our own bills, her bills and mine are separate, only if she needs help with her’s then that’s ok……!!!!!!!

10) She tries to get my family against me, and her’s, when she is the starter of the arguments and whatever. Then when they stick up for her, she makes a smart ass smile.

11) Even though enough time after our first son was born, I’m usually deprived of sex. And now since our second was born, even though her tubes are tied, it’s pretty much probably going to be the same way.

12) She doesn’t like to give me head, hand jobs, kiss to much any more, ride me, doggy style or 69 or just about anything. Even when doing it the regular way, she moans and bitches about it hurting or whatever.

13) She gets mad at me for porning!!!

14) She does things around my family that I don’t like, just outta a spite I guess. Just to piss me off and get me going!!!! Example: Like, she’ll always have her underwear and ass crack hanging out facing the entrance to the living-room so my pap and other male family members can see, it’s like bitch!! face the other way or pull your pants up!!!! But, nooo she can’t do that. Or she’ll wear a shirt that kinda hangs down far, so when she bends over you can see her breasts there.

Now! When I wore shorts around my son’s therapists, she claims she could see my dick hanging there, and I wasn’t aloud to wear shorts no more when they were around, so I make sure to wear pants, but it’s just so god damn hard for her to do what I ask about the underwear and shit!!!!! FUCK THAT!!!!!

15) She is just a fucking bitch!!!!! And I want someone different, I never ever had someone like this before, and it’s really driving me fucking nuts!!!

16) She makes stress for herself and me all the damn time! Can’t go without an argument at least once or twice a day! She even admitted she is a bitch and likes to make my life a living hell!!

17) She bitches if I don’t work at all, but at same time wants me to play babysitter all the time, and then she bitches when I work too damn much. Even though the money that I make is pretty good, working too much is a no no. But, she wants that though…fucking can’t ever please her what’s so ever.

18.) It’s ok for her to bitch and get everything off her chest, but I’m not suppose to at all…like I don’t have any feelings or emotions what so ever!! I’m just suppose to take all the shit, like I’m wearing a fucking sign that says, “ DUMP ALL YOUR FUCKING STRESS AND BITCHING ONTO ME” I’M THE FUCKING STRESS DUMPSTER!!! FUCK THAT SHIT!!! ALL THE BITCHES NEED TO REALIZE THE WORLD DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND JUST THEM!!!! JUST LIKE MOST AT MY JOB!! THEY WONDER WHY THEY HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH BOYFRIENDS AND OR THEY JUST UP AND LEAVE THEM>>>> CYA LATER FUCKING BITCHES!! I”LL FIND SOMEONE NEW!!

19) Or… I like it when she or other girls gang up against just me….that is fucking bullshit!!! Like I have a chance in hell to win a mouth battle to start with!!!

20) Or I like it when she or others do not listen worth a shit to me about anything, especially when I have gone through so much shit in my life it’s not fucking funny….no, they wanna do what they wanna do and find shit out the hard way all the damn time…!!!!! Then they have the nerve to take all their stress and bitchy attitude out on me!! THAT IS FUCKING BULLSHIT TO!! GOD DAMN FUCKING BIPOLAR BITCHES FROM HELL!!!!! NEED FUCKING COUNSELING AND SHIT!!!

21) Or, they call me names and shit, like “stupid” or “dumby” but they gotta go figure, they are bitches and bipolars from hell!!! That kinda cause that shit to happen to me to start with!!!! CAUSE, EXCESS UN-NEEDED STRESS AND BITCHING CAUSES BRAIN CELL DAMAGE!!!! WHORE BAG BITCHES!!!

OK, HERE IS A TASTE OF THE BULLSHIT I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ABOUT HAVING SEX OR ANYTHING RELATED TO SEXUAL STUFF.

1) She bitches when I snuggle close, cause my whiskers poke through her clothes, even if I shave my face. It’s the mustache she bitches about.

2) She bitches about kissing, she bitches when I tease her to attempt to get her horny.

3) She bitches when I porn cause I’m horny as hell, and she isn’t in the mood. It’s like bitch!! Be happy I’m not bugging you then!!!!

4) She bitches when or if I’m out looking for a new life with someone else cause of the shit she puts me through…like I’m going to wanna stay with her!!!! I think not!! But, it’s ok for her to write some guy in prison the whole time we were married….that is fucking bullshit!!!!!!

5) She bitches cause it hurts to fuck her.

6) She bitches when we take showers together and I wack off over her.

7) She can’t really give me hand jobs in the shower, her arms and wrists get to tired or sore, she can’t give head cause she’ll choke on it and it’s sick

8.) She bitches when I touch her when she is nude.

9) She bitches about me sucking her toes.

10) She bitches or complains or whatever about everything and then don’t like me asking about having sex all the time to.

Well….She will soon be the X Wife The Bitch!! HEHE!!

Twisted

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