porn

Just one of them days…

General It Is Said

Ya have to LOVE Sunday… It’s the only day of the week that you can actually catch up on sleep, or, sometimes in my case… PORN.

Nah, I’m kidding, that’s Saturday night into Sunday EARLY morning. Ya know, when the Church goers are getting ready for Church, I’m ending my 8 to 12 hour porn session. THEN, it’s time to catch up on sleep on Sunday.

In short, Sunday is the day for the lazy bastards… Hell, I don’t even know why I’m posting this post today, it’s SUNDAY!! I shouldn’t even be doing any “work” at all… Uh oh, I’m starting to feel tired… writing (working on) this post is making me tired. I think it’s time for more sleeps…

Nah, I best stay up and keep my energy building up for tonight’s massive orgasmic phone sex with the girlfriend… Speaking of which, baby I’m horny!!! Damn… I gotta go!! I’m cumming baby, I’m cumming!! I mean, I’m coming!!…

P.S. Okay, maybe T.M.I., but who cares!! Go fuck yourselves! I mean your lover! It’s still Sunday!!

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AOL’s Point and Speak…

General

A few years ago, I bought that AOL Point and Speak software… Why? Because, it’s every lazy person’s dream! You don’t have to type! You just chat into a stupid microphone and the software types it out for you!

It was SO awesome too! Well, KIND OF awesome anyway. It did SUCK having to go back through EVERYTHING you chatted out into text form and correcting all of the damn fuck-ups it’s done. Well, here’s a few examples I’ve found on some site

I said into the mic: I can’t help falling in love with you
Point & Speak typed: I can’t help fully unload with you

I said into the mic: Amazing grace! how sweet the sound
Point & Speak typed: Amazing grace House sweep the sound

I said into the mic: Britney Spears
Point & Speak typed: Brady Spears (What? Did she have a sex change?)

I said into the mic: Then we will be debt-free!
Point & Speak typed: Then we will be dead free.

I said into the mic: …we’ve talked about taking a trip… possibly Jamaica, Florida or Hawaii.
Point & Speak typed: …we’ve talked about taking a trip… possibly Jamaica, Florida or why he.

I don’t know how all of those were fucked up, especially if the guy that was talking into the microphone wasn’t drunk!? Or, maybe he was, I’m not sure! Or, perhaps a drunk fuck created the software itself? Nah, because then everything would be typed into a slur…

I said into the mic: Congress has impeached President Bill Clinton for perjury and obstruction of justice in the matter of his affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky.
Point & Speak typed: Congress has in peach President Bill Clinton for perjury and obstruction of justice in the matter of his affair with White House intern Monaco whiskey.

I said into the mic: As for our family, we had an eventful year but a lovely Christmas.
Point & Speak typed: As for our family, we had uneventful year bought a lovely Christmas.

I said into the mic: …she is no longer “zoned out”…
Point & Speak typed: …she is no longer sold out…

I said into the mic: As for his behavior, it’s typical for a nine-year-old except for some mouthiness now and then.
Point & Speak typed: As for his behavior, it’s typical for a nine-year-old except for some Month-Ended-Down then.

I said into the mic: …he has moved in with Kathy and commutes to work each day.
Point & Speak typed: …he has moved in with Kathy and commits to work each day.

I said into the mic: Jim and Kathy
Point & Speak typed: GM and Kathy

I said into the mic: Dan & Joyce are okay.
Point & Speak typed: Dan and choice are okay.

I said into the mic: Patrick Ringer is selling Marie’s house. Patti may buy it.
Point & Speak typed: Patrick greater is selling Marie’s house. Patti may buy at.

I said into the mic: We paid for most of Joe’s orthodontia.
Point & Speak typed: We paid for most of Joe’s Orthodox a.

I said into the mic: We now pay Joe $3 per week in allowance
Point & Speak typed: We now paid Joel $3 per week in allowance

I said into the mic: Then we will be debt-free!
Point & Speak typed: Then we will be dead free.

I said into the mic: …empty tote boxes waiting to be filled with organized stuff
Point & Speak typed: …empty tote boxes waiting to be filled with organized of

I said into the mic: Go For It!
Point & Speak typed: Goal for it!

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Various vagina lips…

General

Okay, this was brought up in another post of mine. Why do female pussy lips vary in shapes, and looks?

I mean, you have the famous “hamburger bun” lips, and “camel toes”. Which are HOT!! Then you have those pussy lips that just look like a wrinkled old grandmas pussy, sagging there like wrinkled slop of flesh… wtf!?!?!?

Here, I’ve gone ahead and rounded up some image examples from the internet, this way you can see what I’m talking about…

(These are nudes of chicks, please be advised! NSFW!!)

a) Here’s an example of the “hamburger bun” or “camel toe” lips I was talking about. Don’t it look Mmm, tasty!! Here’s one that’s pretty much the same too, except with her bent over like that, it looks like an EMBEDDED YO-YO…

b) Here’s another shot of the same chick’s pussy that you seen above there. But, with her spread eagle like that, it looks like a “Double Heart”.. don’t it?

c) Here’s another one, I’m going to call it the “Slit Clit”… Why? Because it has a nice slit up the middle of the clit. Nothing protruding and shit…That’s a nice one too…

d) Here’s another one, I’m going to call it the “clam”. Why? Because don’t it kinda look like a clam? It’s a nice one too… Licky licky, slip in the dicky…

e) (Forewarning, most guys might not want to look at this one) Here’s another one too. This one is gross looking. Why? Because it looks like the lady not only dildo herself with a normal dildo, but a Chef Knife too, looks all bloody and shit.. Ewww!! SICK!

f) Here’s another one, this is another gross one. This is one of those “What the hell is it? Is it safe to put my dick in this?” pussies…

g) (Forewarning; not really because it’s gross, but because there’s a guys cock in it as well.) Here’s another one, this is going to get the name “Gaping Maw”… Well, you’ll understand why I gave it that name then, once you seen it .. LOL!

h) Here’s another one, this is the “Slop of Fuck” I was talking about.. What the hell is this shit?!?!? Is it safe to put a dick in this or what?!?!?! Eeek!

Anyway, yeah.. I think that about sums it up for various pussy lips. If I happened to miss some, let me know!

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My Ex-Wife – The Bitch!!!!

Bitches

I know I shouldn’t be really posting this, but fuck it lol. I know it got a lot of attention before so here it goes!

I need to get this all out some how, some where lol. I’ll just put down in a numbered format what I had to put up with 24-7!!

1) She is a total bitch!

2) If she isn’t a total bitch! She is a bitch of the bitches from HELL!!!

3) She is a spoiled little bitch that has to get her bitchy way!

4) All she does is start trouble and complain about everything and anything. Even if it’s stuff she does or wants to do, so she knows it’s how she wants things done, she still bitches.

5) She manipulates and plays the boss all the time and tries to control every situation.

6) If we get into arguments whenever, she always has the excuse to leave and run home to mommy, being that she is 21 now and should try and talk it out with me…no can’t do that.

7) She only acknowledges the bad that I do, and never the good, and rubs in my face how bad of a father or parent I am. When I’m the one that took care of our first son the majority of the time anyways….and he loves me more cause I was always there for him while she was always out running around and shit.

8.) She’ll expect me to watch the boys almost all the time while she goes out having fun, ramming and romping around where ever, which is no biggy to me, but when I want to run some where to do errands or whatever, she says, “Your leaving me with both of the boy’s” like it’s a chore or something, like BITCH!! What do you think happens to me 24-7 almost!!! But I’m such a bad parent, fuck you bitch and fuck off!!!! GO TO HELL!!!! WHORE BAG, MUSTACHE FACE, MAN LOOKING BITCH LMAO!!!!!

9) The bills are, our own bills, her bills and mine are separate, only if she needs help with her’s then that’s ok……!!!!!!!

10) She tries to get my family against me, and her’s, when she is the starter of the arguments and whatever. Then when they stick up for her, she makes a smart ass smile.

11) Even though enough time after our first son was born, I’m usually deprived of sex. And now since our second was born, even though her tubes are tied, it’s pretty much probably going to be the same way.

12) She doesn’t like to give me head, hand jobs, kiss to much any more, ride me, doggy style or 69 or just about anything. Even when doing it the regular way, she moans and bitches about it hurting or whatever.

13) She gets mad at me for porning!!!

14) She does things around my family that I don’t like, just outta a spite I guess. Just to piss me off and get me going!!!! Example: Like, she’ll always have her underwear and ass crack hanging out facing the entrance to the living-room so my pap and other male family members can see, it’s like bitch!! face the other way or pull your pants up!!!! But, nooo she can’t do that. Or she’ll wear a shirt that kinda hangs down far, so when she bends over you can see her breasts there.

Now! When I wore shorts around my son’s therapists, she claims she could see my dick hanging there, and I wasn’t aloud to wear shorts no more when they were around, so I make sure to wear pants, but it’s just so god damn hard for her to do what I ask about the underwear and shit!!!!! FUCK THAT!!!!!

15) She is just a fucking bitch!!!!! And I want someone different, I never ever had someone like this before, and it’s really driving me fucking nuts!!!

16) She makes stress for herself and me all the damn time! Can’t go without an argument at least once or twice a day! She even admitted she is a bitch and likes to make my life a living hell!!

17) She bitches if I don’t work at all, but at same time wants me to play babysitter all the time, and then she bitches when I work too damn much. Even though the money that I make is pretty good, working too much is a no no. But, she wants that though…fucking can’t ever please her what’s so ever.

18.) It’s ok for her to bitch and get everything off her chest, but I’m not suppose to at all…like I don’t have any feelings or emotions what so ever!! I’m just suppose to take all the shit, like I’m wearing a fucking sign that says, “ DUMP ALL YOUR FUCKING STRESS AND BITCHING ONTO ME” I’M THE FUCKING STRESS DUMPSTER!!! FUCK THAT SHIT!!! ALL THE BITCHES NEED TO REALIZE THE WORLD DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND JUST THEM!!!! JUST LIKE MOST AT MY JOB!! THEY WONDER WHY THEY HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH BOYFRIENDS AND OR THEY JUST UP AND LEAVE THEM>>>> CYA LATER FUCKING BITCHES!! I”LL FIND SOMEONE NEW!!

19) Or… I like it when she or other girls gang up against just me….that is fucking bullshit!!! Like I have a chance in hell to win a mouth battle to start with!!!

20) Or I like it when she or others do not listen worth a shit to me about anything, especially when I have gone through so much shit in my life it’s not fucking funny….no, they wanna do what they wanna do and find shit out the hard way all the damn time…!!!!! Then they have the nerve to take all their stress and bitchy attitude out on me!! THAT IS FUCKING BULLSHIT TO!! GOD DAMN FUCKING BIPOLAR BITCHES FROM HELL!!!!! NEED FUCKING COUNSELING AND SHIT!!!

21) Or, they call me names and shit, like “stupid” or “dumby” but they gotta go figure, they are bitches and bipolars from hell!!! That kinda cause that shit to happen to me to start with!!!! CAUSE, EXCESS UN-NEEDED STRESS AND BITCHING CAUSES BRAIN CELL DAMAGE!!!! WHORE BAG BITCHES!!!

OK, HERE IS A TASTE OF THE BULLSHIT I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ABOUT HAVING SEX OR ANYTHING RELATED TO SEXUAL STUFF.

1) She bitches when I snuggle close, cause my whiskers poke through her clothes, even if I shave my face. It’s the mustache she bitches about.

2) She bitches about kissing, she bitches when I tease her to attempt to get her horny.

3) She bitches when I porn cause I’m horny as hell, and she isn’t in the mood. It’s like bitch!! Be happy I’m not bugging you then!!!!

4) She bitches when or if I’m out looking for a new life with someone else cause of the shit she puts me through…like I’m going to wanna stay with her!!!! I think not!! But, it’s ok for her to write some guy in prison the whole time we were married….that is fucking bullshit!!!!!!

5) She bitches cause it hurts to fuck her.

6) She bitches when we take showers together and I wack off over her.

7) She can’t really give me hand jobs in the shower, her arms and wrists get to tired or sore, she can’t give head cause she’ll choke on it and it’s sick

8.) She bitches when I touch her when she is nude.

9) She bitches about me sucking her toes.

10) She bitches or complains or whatever about everything and then don’t like me asking about having sex all the time to.

Well….She will soon be the X Wife The Bitch!! HEHE!!

Twisted

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