pap Archives » Vindictive Bastard

Every road and street should have 4 lanes, instead of just 2.

Twisted / 4 June, 2008 / Leave a Comment

Know what pisses me off? Besides the dumb fucks that have to buy damn lottery tickets just as you walk into the store to buy something fast and get the fuck out of the store…

It’s the asshole slow drivers that come out of no where, just as you’re in a hurry to get some where important. It never fails, all day long them slow fuck drivers can be at the house, or still in the store buying lottery tickets, but just as YOU are about to leave for some where important and in a hurry, they all come out…

Now, if I had my license and it wasn’t suspended… I’d just pass them slow fucks on the shoulder like I always did before… fuck it! But, since I can’t drive yet for a while… I just gotta suffer in the passenger seat of my grandparent’s car, which of course they are slow ass drivers themselves.

Anyway, they should make TWO LANES PER EACH SIDE OF A ROAD. No matter where the road is, make roads and streets four lanes instead of two! That way we could pass all the slow ass motherfuckers no matter where we are! And all them “Sunday driving” bastards can eat the dust, and Amish horse, horse shit…

amish, bike, drive, four, horse shit, lanes, license, lottery players, lottery tickets, pap, shoulder, speed limit, suspended, two

Callwave…

General Rants

Twisted / 15 May, 2008 / Leave a Comment

I’m sure (most) everyone knows what Callwave is, right? If ya don’t, ah well… be glad ya didn’t. In brief, it’s an online answering machine for the cheap fucks like me. Ya know, someone that still uses shitty $9.95 a month Juno dialup Internet.

And also, when you only have one phone line in the house, your asshole friends, family members, and debt collectors can still leave ya that “special” message you don’t wanna hear anyway! But anyway, nothing pisses me off more than my shitty brother calling every god damn time I get online!!

The fucking asshole can’t call while I’m at work all god damn fucking day, he has to wait until he figures I’m just getting online, or I am already online!!!! I get home from shit work around 4:15pm EST, and he’ll call around 5pm when I usually get online! He can’t call any earlier, because after all… I’m not home to get online, nor am I usually online before 5pm. So naturally, the fat fuck face pain the fucking ass has to call at 5pm!

Nothing like… JUST SIGNING ONTO THE NET, and then the Callwave thing pops up! “INCOMING CALL! IT’S YOUR PAIN IN THE FUCKING ASS BROTHER AGAIN!!” …. So naturally… I instantly click the X button, to close out the Callwave all together! And yell… “GO FUCK YOURSELF!”

Then yell downstairs to gram, “CALL MIKE AGAIN!! HE NEEDS TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN, BECAUSE HE FUCKING RETARDED!” I mean shit, the fuck nut can’t just call BEFORE I / someone else in the family gets online… He has to wait until we ARE ONLINE to call! It’s fucking bullshit!

Just like today, he called around 5:12pm… I closed out Callwave and yelled to gram to call him. She was like.. “Oh God! What now!?!?” So she called him. An hour later, I reopened Callwave… thinking it was SAFE again. Boy was I wrong! He fucking called 14 times more, up till 6:50pm from the last time he spoke with her at 5:13pm!! Again, I yelled down to gram… “CALL MIKE AGAIN!!! HE CALLED 14 TIMES SINCE YA LAST SPOKE WITH THE RETARD ABOUT HOUR AGO!”

She was like (while throwing arms and hands up in air)… “OH GOD! WHAT’S HE WANT NOW!?!?!? I JUST SPOKE WITH HIM A LITTLE BIT AGO!!!!” I told pap before, even though we NEED Callwave, I still think we should cancel it and use that money spent on Callwave payments, to block his number and his fat ugly 60 year old girlfriend’s number from calling here… He laughed.

It’s fucked up though too, it’s not just the pain in the fucking ass brother that calls WHILE I’m just getting online, or while already online… it’s anyone in general. But mostly my family members. Of course, there’s only one person that can call whenever and I won’t get mad at em for it…

Either way, like in this image preview here (click image to see full version), I wish I had the following options to choose from:

Brother + Callwave = Pain in the fucking ass!

I know, I know… get something better then Juno Dialup, ya cheap bastard! My response: “Ya gonna give me the money for something better?” No? Aight then, shut the fuck up and call me, so I can close Callwave on ya! Well, for everyone except one person…

ass, bastard, brother, calling, Callwave, cheap, connection, Dial Up, family, fuck, fuck nut, gram, internet, Juno, members, pain, pap, www.callwave.com

Whoo Hoo!

General

Twisted / 19 February, 2008 / Leave a Comment

Probation is over! Probation is over! Over over over, probation is finally over! La De Do Da! Sing it people!

That’s right, the whole amount that was due to the Court was paid off early this morning, so probation is FINALLY over for good! Whoo Hoo!

It was funny though too, after having it paid off, I went over to see the probation officer for our scheduled appointment… I was like… what’s this “Petition to Revoke Probation” letter about?

She was like, “Oh, that’s to try and get/give you extra time to pay off your fines and stuff.” I then whipped out the good old receipt showing that ALL the fees were paid off. She was like, “OH! How did you do that!?!?”

I thought for a minute “Oh, I robbed a bank. Yeah, I committed a crime to pay off this one”… I said, “Pap helped me out. We figured it was better to pay off Pap gradually, then rush around trying to pay it off with the Court and have the hearing and such.” She said, “Yeah, that’s true.”

She also said before I left, “You don’t have to worry about that March 6th hearing either, I’m sending over a notice to the Court to have that hearing canceled. And you’ll also get a final confirmation letter signed by the Judge within two days, saying that you’re officially done with Probation now and such.”

I said, “Okay! Thanks!” That’s all she wrote folks… I’m free as a bird! Whoo Hoo!

appointment, court, finally, fines, hearing, Judge, over, paid off, pap, probation, receipt, scheduled

Random thoughts…

It Is Said

Twisted / 5 December, 2007 / 1 Comment

Here are some random thoughts going through my mind lately… Maybe you can relate to them, maybe not. I really don’t give a shit either way…

1.) What species is Miss Jackie? I mean, she must be human. But yet, it’s hard to believe that, ya know? She kinda looks like a man, yet a female as well… Is she really a Sasquatch descendant that maybe came out of the woods and shaved the hair off his/her face and got prettied up, or.. WHAT!?!?!?

2.) God damn it I wish they lowered the legal age to 17.

3.) Why do people’s exes have to linger around like a knife in the asshole, and cause more drama bullshit for people while they’re apart? I mean shit, it wasn’t peaches n cream while they were WITH the person, but to cause more shit when they’re apart? Come on!!

4.) Why do people really care so much about Celebrities for? Why does the poperotzy really give a shit about taking pictures of the Celebrities?

I mean, sure it’s a money machine.. but come on! Celebrities are human like YOU are. They are people. Unless I’m lost, confused, and perhaps missed something?

Are they REALLY aliens in human bodies and that’s why they are more important? Come on people, who really gives a fucking shit about Celebrities… The only thing that’s wonderful about “them” is their wallets and bank accounts. That’s all!

Since when did the amount of money in the wallet or bank account really matter, unless you were getting some of it from the beginning? All I can say is, SHARE THE WEALTH YOU CELEBRITY BASTARDS!!

5.) Why do female pussy lips vary in shapes, and looks? I mean, you have the famous “hamburger bun” lips, and “camel toes”. Which are HOT!! Then you have those pussy lips that just look like a wrinkled old grandmas pussy, sagging there like wrinkled slop of flesh… wtf!?!?!?

6.) Why do BAD THINGS happen to GOOD PEOPLE!?!? And why do GOOD THINGS happen to BAD PEOPLE!?!?

7.) Why are the police out to get pedophiles for? Especially when there are cops out there being pedophiles themselves? Why do they also bust people’s parties for? But end up throwing parties and doing drugs themselves? Especially with underage people as well…

8.) How come whenever I’m offline and not on the internet I don’t have to shit, but as soon as I get online I gotta shit? This hasn’t been happening LATELY, but still… Shit, I better knock on wood quick…

9.) God damn it I wish it was legal to track down spammers and kill them… Burn their machines down and burn the people spamming too…

10.) Why is it when you’re single, you don’t get hit-on that much? But when you’re with someone you really love and care about, you get hit-on all the time? Not that this has happened to me lately, but before…

11.) Why does the weather get really crappy on important and special occasion days, but not on unimportant days?

12.) Why do old people (like my gram and pap) drive slow as fuck when ya gotta be some where important and can’t be late, but drive fast as hell when not needing to be some where important?

There, I was going to add more but I have to leave for work! More to come later, in a new post!

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Don’t waste your money on Nads-Hair Remover…

Rants

Twisted / 5 June, 2004 / Leave a Comment

DON’T BE A DUMBASS AND KEEP BUYING NADS – HAIR REMOVER!

It’s basically super-glue in disguise! I think they just collected a shitload of superglue, changed the coloring of it a bit and changed the labeling on it! I know this has been out for awhile and they had millions of suckers buying this shit.

But I was just thinking about it again, because my damn facial hair keeps growing in and it pisses me off….and I remembered the first time I tried NADS -THE FACE REMOVER! Rather then hair remover! That’s what it should really be called! If you want a nice smooth face, try NADS -THE FACE REMOVER! It removes all your facial hair, pimples and your face all in ONE!

Don’t be a dumbass anymore and waste $20.00 to $30.00 for Nads! Do you know how many tubes of super-glue you can get for that kind of money!? Just imagine! Well….my pap is always asking….Where is my super-glue? And I tell him…just use Nads! It works just the same but better! Well, even to this day were still using that same old mini bucket of Nads for necessary household issues! I bought that probably a year or two ago lol! It also works great for bonding things together. I think the last thing we bonded together was a broken rider mower axle! Damn! That saved us a shitload of money on a welding bill!

Anyways…if you continue to buy NADS -THE FACE REMOVER! YOU ARE JUST PLAIN STUPID! You’ll eventually realize it when your in the hospital getting plastic surgery because your face was removed! Well, for those that kept trying it should know what I’m talking about lol! I think everyone on the globe fell for this bullshit…but not anymore! FUCK OFF N DIE NAD MAKERS, SUCK AND LICK MY NADS! BITCHES! I’m done….

Twisted

basically, bitches, bonded together, bullshit, disguise, dumbass, facial hair, lick, nads hair remover, pap, pimples, plain stupid, plastic surgery, smooth face, suckers, superglue

My Ex-Wife – The Bitch!!!!

Bitches

Twisted / 30 April, 2004 / Leave a Comment

I know I shouldn’t be really posting this, but fuck it lol. I know it got a lot of attention before so here it goes!

I need to get this all out some how, some where lol. I’ll just put down in a numbered format what I had to put up with 24-7!!

1) She is a total bitch!

2) If she isn’t a total bitch! She is a bitch of the bitches from HELL!!!

3) She is a spoiled little bitch that has to get her bitchy way!

4) All she does is start trouble and complain about everything and anything. Even if it’s stuff she does or wants to do, so she knows it’s how she wants things done, she still bitches.

5) She manipulates and plays the boss all the time and tries to control every situation.

6) If we get into arguments whenever, she always has the excuse to leave and run home to mommy, being that she is 21 now and should try and talk it out with me…no can’t do that.

7) She only acknowledges the bad that I do, and never the good, and rubs in my face how bad of a father or parent I am. When I’m the one that took care of our first son the majority of the time anyways….and he loves me more cause I was always there for him while she was always out running around and shit.

8.) She’ll expect me to watch the boys almost all the time while she goes out having fun, ramming and romping around where ever, which is no biggy to me, but when I want to run some where to do errands or whatever, she says, “Your leaving me with both of the boy’s” like it’s a chore or something, like BITCH!! What do you think happens to me 24-7 almost!!! But I’m such a bad parent, fuck you bitch and fuck off!!!! GO TO HELL!!!! WHORE BAG, MUSTACHE FACE, MAN LOOKING BITCH LMAO!!!!!

9) The bills are, our own bills, her bills and mine are separate, only if she needs help with her’s then that’s ok……!!!!!!!

10) She tries to get my family against me, and her’s, when she is the starter of the arguments and whatever. Then when they stick up for her, she makes a smart ass smile.

11) Even though enough time after our first son was born, I’m usually deprived of sex. And now since our second was born, even though her tubes are tied, it’s pretty much probably going to be the same way.

12) She doesn’t like to give me head, hand jobs, kiss to much any more, ride me, doggy style or 69 or just about anything. Even when doing it the regular way, she moans and bitches about it hurting or whatever.

13) She gets mad at me for porning!!!

14) She does things around my family that I don’t like, just outta a spite I guess. Just to piss me off and get me going!!!! Example: Like, she’ll always have her underwear and ass crack hanging out facing the entrance to the living-room so my pap and other male family members can see, it’s like bitch!! face the other way or pull your pants up!!!! But, nooo she can’t do that. Or she’ll wear a shirt that kinda hangs down far, so when she bends over you can see her breasts there.

Now! When I wore shorts around my son’s therapists, she claims she could see my dick hanging there, and I wasn’t aloud to wear shorts no more when they were around, so I make sure to wear pants, but it’s just so god damn hard for her to do what I ask about the underwear and shit!!!!! FUCK THAT!!!!!

15) She is just a fucking bitch!!!!! And I want someone different, I never ever had someone like this before, and it’s really driving me fucking nuts!!!

16) She makes stress for herself and me all the damn time! Can’t go without an argument at least once or twice a day! She even admitted she is a bitch and likes to make my life a living hell!!

17) She bitches if I don’t work at all, but at same time wants me to play babysitter all the time, and then she bitches when I work too damn much. Even though the money that I make is pretty good, working too much is a no no. But, she wants that though…fucking can’t ever please her what’s so ever.

18.) It’s ok for her to bitch and get everything off her chest, but I’m not suppose to at all…like I don’t have any feelings or emotions what so ever!! I’m just suppose to take all the shit, like I’m wearing a fucking sign that says, “ DUMP ALL YOUR FUCKING STRESS AND BITCHING ONTO ME” I’M THE FUCKING STRESS DUMPSTER!!! FUCK THAT SHIT!!! ALL THE BITCHES NEED TO REALIZE THE WORLD DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND JUST THEM!!!! JUST LIKE MOST AT MY JOB!! THEY WONDER WHY THEY HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH BOYFRIENDS AND OR THEY JUST UP AND LEAVE THEM>>>> CYA LATER FUCKING BITCHES!! I”LL FIND SOMEONE NEW!!

19) Or… I like it when she or other girls gang up against just me….that is fucking bullshit!!! Like I have a chance in hell to win a mouth battle to start with!!!

20) Or I like it when she or others do not listen worth a shit to me about anything, especially when I have gone through so much shit in my life it’s not fucking funny….no, they wanna do what they wanna do and find shit out the hard way all the damn time…!!!!! Then they have the nerve to take all their stress and bitchy attitude out on me!! THAT IS FUCKING BULLSHIT TO!! GOD DAMN FUCKING BIPOLAR BITCHES FROM HELL!!!!! NEED FUCKING COUNSELING AND SHIT!!!

21) Or, they call me names and shit, like “stupid” or “dumby” but they gotta go figure, they are bitches and bipolars from hell!!! That kinda cause that shit to happen to me to start with!!!! CAUSE, EXCESS UN-NEEDED STRESS AND BITCHING CAUSES BRAIN CELL DAMAGE!!!! WHORE BAG BITCHES!!!

OK, HERE IS A TASTE OF THE BULLSHIT I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ABOUT HAVING SEX OR ANYTHING RELATED TO SEXUAL STUFF.

1) She bitches when I snuggle close, cause my whiskers poke through her clothes, even if I shave my face. It’s the mustache she bitches about.

2) She bitches about kissing, she bitches when I tease her to attempt to get her horny.

3) She bitches when I porn cause I’m horny as hell, and she isn’t in the mood. It’s like bitch!! Be happy I’m not bugging you then!!!!

4) She bitches when or if I’m out looking for a new life with someone else cause of the shit she puts me through…like I’m going to wanna stay with her!!!! I think not!! But, it’s ok for her to write some guy in prison the whole time we were married….that is fucking bullshit!!!!!!

5) She bitches cause it hurts to fuck her.

6) She bitches when we take showers together and I wack off over her.

7) She can’t really give me hand jobs in the shower, her arms and wrists get to tired or sore, she can’t give head cause she’ll choke on it and it’s sick

8.) She bitches when I touch her when she is nude.

9) She bitches about me sucking her toes.

10) She bitches or complains or whatever about everything and then don’t like me asking about having sex all the time to.

Well….She will soon be the X Wife The Bitch!! HEHE!!

Twisted

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