house Archives » Vindictive Bastard

my thoughts to save money, and keep our troops safe and spend less on prisons… here we go…

Twisted / 26 June, 2011 / Leave a Comment

Send the murderers overseas to fight wars, they’ll get out and have some “Freedom”, and at same time do what they do best. Murder people. Done. If they get killed, no big deal, no housing expenses necessary at all, and no death-row political drama necessary. It’s done deal.

The more murderers from prison that goes over to fight our wars, the less we need to spend on our troops to house, feed, and lose casualties of… If we send over guys locked up for life terms in prison…for what they do best anyway.. it will save on our tax dollars. No need to house and feed prisoners anymore. On top of that, we’ll save money on our own good troops. Save them for when deemed necessary to use them. Prisoners sitting in prison for 25 to life… They’re just there wasting life away, time, money, housing and etc…

Why be stupid and do that? When they could easily be shipped overseas with knives, guns, and whatever else… let them do what they do best… and at same time.. enjoy their freedoms… Fuck.. If I had control over the government, that’s what I would do… Either that, or turn all the murderers jail cells into gas chambers.. gas em all.. and let the non-violent offenders go free…

Either way, it will save money some where along the lines… And if they pass the Bill to legalize marijuana, then all those that are in for smoking weed, will be set free anyway.. Or should be anyway… Think about it…

25 to life, best, bill, casualties, chambers, drama, feed, fight, food, freedom, gas, house, knives, marijuana, money, murderes, oversea, people, policital, prison, shipped, tax dollars, time, wars

Summer Time…

Feelings General Rants

Twisted / 28 March, 2010 / Leave a Comment

Ah yes, the time for spending time with family you don’t really give a shit about anyway, and you gotta do things you don’t wanna do… Not to mention having to do more work around the house that you rather not do, and last but not least, family reunion picnics and shit.

It’s the season of the workers, it’s the season that separates the lazies from the doers. God I love summer, but fuck do I hate to work all the time. I’m far from being Mr. Fatness, but … I’m still just Mr. Lazy Fuck. If the economy wasn’t so shitty, and I could actually get a job again, I’d be doing stuff for money. But why bother?

Then employers wonder why, they get shitty and lazy workers? Come on! You’re setting the example yourselves!! You lazy fucks! Let’s face it though, most are lazy through any season! But the bottom line is, employers are more lazy then the workers they hire to start with! They’re fucking hypocrites! God Damn Motherfuckers!

Fuck the Govt, fuck Obama, fuck employers, fuck Obama’s Health Care shit, fuck summer, fuck insurance, fuck internet bullshit, fuck freelancing (you’re screwed anyway), fuck anything you know, fuck anything you don’t know but want too, fuck the economy, fuck schooling, fuck parents, fuck grandparents, fuck “friends”, fuck slanderous bitches (making shit up, blaming you for doing something you ain’t done), fuck the seasons and the changes, fuck it all! Just wait till the shit hits the fan, then fuck that too. Boo Hoo. I’m out.

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Fucking debt collectors…

Rants

Twisted / 18 August, 2008 / Leave a Comment

There’s nothing worse then debt collectors calling every god damn couple of hours of every god damn day…

I swear, they call more than family, girlfriend, friends, and general other idiots and assholes you never wanna hear from. Hell, I’d rather hear from the idiots and assholes, then the debt collectors…

Usually when they call and ask for me, I just tell them one of the following:

“Oh, he’s at work. He’s trying to make the money to pay you guys off so you stop fucking annoying the hell out of him with your god damn daily phone calls!”
I’m sorry, but he’s currently unavailable. He’s outside burning up all those worthless piece of shit letters you’re send him on daily basis.
I’m sorry, he can’t come to the phone right now. He’s out buying more alcoholic beverages with the money that he should be paying you off with…
I’m sorry, I’m currently… I mean, he’s currently unavailable at the moment, can I take yet ANOTHER god damn message from you!?!? I mean after all! It’s only been an hour since you last called…
Hey! It’s YOU again, I haven’t heard from you since yesterday!! How’s the family doing?
Hi, I’m sorry but Spencer died the other day. He no longer is with us. If you want, I can give you his new number and address. 1-666-666-6666 and his address is: 666 Satan Drive, Hell, 66666. Good luck getting ahold of him.
Hey there! I’m sorry, but I really don’t give a shit how much I owe you. Oh wait, this is his brother, I’m sorry. Can I take a message?
You know, you call more than my ex-wife does, when she needs the kids watched? And that’s pretty damn much. My as well just have them signed over to me, and you too! Whoo Hoo!
You know, rather then spending all this time and money trying to get ahold of ME, why not just wait until I get ahold of you? That way; the debt amount due never goes up, nor will the fucking collection fees.
Hello again god damn it, how about this; rather than calling for Spencer all the god damn fucking time, why not just move your “firm” into his house!? That way, you don’t have to call and call, or send out repeat letters all the time. You can just wake him up in the morning in his bedroom, and drive him fucking nuts that way!?!? OR, just be around him all the time in general until he commits suicide… then he won’t owe you SHIT!

The other thing I hate though too, is they sometimes “act” like they’re your friend or something…”Hey, is Spencer there? Tell him this is Mike! Remember me?!” I reply… “Wait, who this again? Mike from where?” I swear they’re getting just as smart “trick” wise, than we are!! Fucking god damn bastards!!

Me: If it’s so easy, can you make the first $50.00 payment for me…..? Or give me your credit card or checking acct. info so I can make that first payment…?

OR:

Them: Hello…Mr. Spencer…..I’m calling about a debt that you’ve created in 1999! I was just wondering if you’d like to take care of that today….??

Me: Well…! If you haven’t caught on by now…I really didn’t have any intentions on paying anything on it, especially if it’s from 1999 and haven’t made one single payment since I created the debt in 1999. Now kindly lick my hairy (recently just shaven) nut sack!!

God! I SHOULD get a job as a Debt Collector! Of course, I’d probably end up having to call myself all the time… ah well, at least I’d enjoy a conversation with myself!! Hell, might get better responses and have some actual desire of paying off debts… Ummm, NOT!

Knowing ME, I’d get into the “system” and give myself a ZERO BALANCE! HAHAHAHA! Fuck, I need to get a job at these collection firms… shit! Anyway, I’m out for now… I gotta call the girlfriend and then get to bed so I can wake up to a debt collector calling me at 7 or 8am… FUCK! Tata!

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AOL’s Point and Speak…

General

Twisted / 6 May, 2008 / Leave a Comment

A few years ago, I bought that AOL Point and Speak software… Why? Because, it’s every lazy person’s dream! You don’t have to type! You just chat into a stupid microphone and the software types it out for you!

It was SO awesome too! Well, KIND OF awesome anyway. It did SUCK having to go back through EVERYTHING you chatted out into text form and correcting all of the damn fuck-ups it’s done. Well, here’s a few examples I’ve found on some site…

I said into the mic: I can’t help falling in love with you
Point & Speak typed: I can’t help fully unload with you

I said into the mic: Amazing grace! how sweet the sound
Point & Speak typed: Amazing grace House sweep the sound

I said into the mic: Britney Spears
Point & Speak typed: Brady Spears (What? Did she have a sex change?)

I said into the mic: Then we will be debt-free!
Point & Speak typed: Then we will be dead free.

I said into the mic: …we’ve talked about taking a trip… possibly Jamaica, Florida or Hawaii.
Point & Speak typed: …we’ve talked about taking a trip… possibly Jamaica, Florida or why he.

I don’t know how all of those were fucked up, especially if the guy that was talking into the microphone wasn’t drunk!? Or, maybe he was, I’m not sure! Or, perhaps a drunk fuck created the software itself? Nah, because then everything would be typed into a slur…

I said into the mic: Congress has impeached President Bill Clinton for perjury and obstruction of justice in the matter of his affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky.
Point & Speak typed: Congress has in peach President Bill Clinton for perjury and obstruction of justice in the matter of his affair with White House intern Monaco whiskey.

I said into the mic: As for our family, we had an eventful year but a lovely Christmas.
Point & Speak typed: As for our family, we had uneventful year bought a lovely Christmas.

I said into the mic: …she is no longer “zoned out”…
Point & Speak typed: …she is no longer sold out…

I said into the mic: As for his behavior, it’s typical for a nine-year-old except for some mouthiness now and then.
Point & Speak typed: As for his behavior, it’s typical for a nine-year-old except for some Month-Ended-Down then.

I said into the mic: …he has moved in with Kathy and commutes to work each day.
Point & Speak typed: …he has moved in with Kathy and commits to work each day.

I said into the mic: Jim and Kathy
Point & Speak typed: GM and Kathy

I said into the mic: Dan & Joyce are okay.
Point & Speak typed: Dan and choice are okay.

I said into the mic: Patrick Ringer is selling Marie’s house. Patti may buy it.
Point & Speak typed: Patrick greater is selling Marie’s house. Patti may buy at.

I said into the mic: We paid for most of Joe’s orthodontia.
Point & Speak typed: We paid for most of Joe’s Orthodox a.

I said into the mic: We now pay Joe $3 per week in allowance
Point & Speak typed: We now paid Joel $3 per week in allowance

I said into the mic: Then we will be debt-free!
Point & Speak typed: Then we will be dead free.

I said into the mic: …empty tote boxes waiting to be filled with organized stuff
Point & Speak typed: …empty tote boxes waiting to be filled with organized of

I said into the mic: Go For It!
Point & Speak typed: Goal for it!

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You Know You’re Cheap When…..

Twisted Jokes

Twisted / 30 April, 2004 / Leave a Comment

Below here is some twisted jokes or whatever I had made up while being on the shitter taking a big ass SHIT! They might not be really funny but…deal with it fuckers!

You Know You’re Cheap When…

1) You think everything in the Dollar General Store is too expensive…and can’t wait for them to mark things down.

2) You find yourself browsing through the blue boxes late at night, so people won’t notice you…

3) You go and put outfits into the blue boxes and then casually get out other outfits that catches your eye….

4) You stoop so low to go to a nursing home randomly picking residents, telling them this big story of being a long lost grandchild and try to convince them to put you on their will for some cash and possible property….

5) If you bring your own snacks to the movie theater…

6) If you put M&Ms on lay away….

7) You want to make a holiday called, National Coupon Day…

8) You try and get a $10.00 item with two $5.00 off coupons…

9) You wanna try and convince the gov’t to allow Monolopy money as a backup currency…

10) You can’t afford to throw in your two cents on anything cause that’s dipping into your life savings…

11) When you jump for joy at all the “Free For The Taking” ads in the newspaper and have to be the first one there to pick the stuff up, no matter what it is….

12) When you think the shoes in a Payless Shoe Store are too expensive.

13) When you find yourself asking friends to buy you happy meals here and there at Mc Donalds so you can get the toys for the kids to have something for Christmas morning.

14) When you stoop so low to the point of claiming to be one of those homeless or starving kids in Africa so you’d get donations a month.

15) When it comes time to sell or get rid of your house, it’s just really a matter of taking the cardboard box to the recycle bin.

16) When you can’t wait to get your bank statement to see how much interest was added on to that knickel you had in your account.

17) When you can’t wait until Sunday for church or (Pay Day)….being that you sit in the last pew so that when you put your 10% in the offering bowl you nonchalantly take out 10% of the total, from the bowl.

18) When you only use one sheet of toilet tissue when wiping your ass and you have it in your head that anymore than that at a time is losing a knickel a sheet.

19) Your the only one getting a refund on calling waiting.

20) When you go out to eat, & you ask to see if you can pay for the bill by working in the kitchen or dishroom.

I hope you liked them….more might be coming soon then lol!

Twisted

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