fucking

Facebook Chat, and the bullshit…

Bitches Feelings Rants

Here we go… Let’s run the chat all night, talk to folks, ones that might not click off with you, lets ignore em and or block em. It’s a damn shame though too, because the ones you’ve dissed and or blocked, could be the best friends of you.

Little you know, the ones you’ve blocked and shit-canned single handed, could be the ones of your best friends for life, but it don’t matter to you anyway. You lay your claims of bullshit, and want to make your merry land of friends, when half of them back stab you from begin with.

One minus one is one negative 2, I gotta deal with… Fuck it, you’re gone. Good bye. Merry Life of you… *hugs n kisses*

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Fatty fuckness…

Bitches General Rants

It’s one thing to admit to me you want me, then throw me to the wolf pack, crying wolf. You’ve known who I was, you know me, don’t be lying and shit and claiming to assume you made a mistake. I can’t help the fact that you’re a damn coward fatty fuck face. You rather everyone in your life to control you, your feelings, your emotions, when you take a shit and piss. Don’t take it out on me fatness.

I actually like girls on the heavy side though, because usually they’re better than the skinny ones that claim to love me, and whore on me. I open up to you, you shit me out. I gave you me, you threw me away. You betrayed me, you lied, you told me stories and lies, and cornered me. Fuck you. I thought you were better then that. I was wrong. Fuck you. Fuck your fucking family and friends and fuck the games you played me with. Be their fucking puppet.

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Telemarketers and various tech support fuck-twats…

General It Is Said Rants

One of the worst things about calling up for tech support regarding an issue about any product you might have purchased, for example; Verizon DSL High Speed, or what-not. Is that most of the tech support representatives are fucking foreign fucks from India, or some other damn over-seas Country…And you never know what the fuck they’re saying, until after 20 minutes asking … “Wait, what? What did you say? Can you repeat that?

The same goes for damn telemarketers from “Bum Fuck Egypt” some where, while getting nailed by a donkey. I’m not racist at all though, but if you’re living in the shitty U.S.A, and doing these jobs, please fucking speak our native language… English!

Why should we learn your language? If you’re here, or standing behind an American company, geared towards English speaking folks, then it would be easier for you to speak our language, and speak so we can understand your damn ass. I’m quite sure our phone calls wouldn’t be more than 30 to 60 minutes long, had you spoke English clearly and not some gibberish bullshit.

Me: What? What the fuck you saying bitch?

Foreign Fuck Tech Support Person: Ing Chang Cho… Baljskdjflkdjflksdjflkd

Me: *Click, click.. Dial tone…* Fucking damn foreign fucks… *Redials again, in hopes of getting an English speaking person… *

Me: Thank God! You’re speaking English!! (Rest of conversation runs smoothly from here out, and gets handled in less time.)

If you can’t speak English, don’t be here in the shitty U.S.A or don’t stand behind an American company… it’s simple. I’m done with this bullshit…

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The perfect “Girlfriend”, every man knows it’s true too!

General

How can a man deny that a love doll like her above, couldn’t be the perfect “Girlfriend” for them? I mean seriously, here below is WHY they can’t deny she’d be the perfect girlfriend…

1.) She ain’t going to be a nagging bitch, she’ll keep her fucking mouth shut and take it like the little whore she is… And! You don’t have to worry about her complaining on your man size to any other chick. She’ll take you as you are, and be happy with you! She ain’t going to lie and go behind your back, giggling and making fun of your pleasure palace size or thickness to other nasty slutty whore-bag bitches..

2.) They only have to “buy her love” once, once a receipt is given at the cash register, then it’s done. No more money needs to be invested into the “Rubbermaid” bitch. She’s already built to perfection, and won’t need hair care products, nail polish, she ain’t going to need shoes, nor fed. She’s perfect how she is out of the box, and all at one low price! Drop pants, shove in your cock, cum, and done.

3.) Look at them tits! They’re fucking huge! Mmm, I’m getting horny over her sitting there, teasing me with them big titties. I just want to titty fuck them and cum all over her face! Hell, she won’t care, and she sure as hell ain’t going to complain… “Oh you bastard, you shot a load in my eye!” … Fucking bitch can’t speak, no complaints to worry about at all!

There you have it dumb fucks! The perfect girlfriend!

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Young Bucks getting with the Old Fucks…a new fad?

General It Is Said

I’m not sure, but I must say, lately… it seems like ALOT more people around my age (25 to 35) are going for the old fucks. I’m not sure WHY or for WHAT reason, but it just seems to be happening ALOT lately.

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but for some of the young bucks choices, Oh my fucking god… barf city. There’s a few other people I know, that I THINK / BELIEVE are tampering with the old dick or clit, but I ain’t going to say shit about it now.

Hell, I even have YOUNGER chicks wanting me, and I’m 32. So yeah, there again the young bucks are chasing the old fucks… I ain’t THAT old god damn it, shut the fuck up. I may be 32 but I look 23… wheeeeee! Now, where’s my next soon to be lover… oh yeah, that’s right… I gotta wait a few more years… Anyway, I’m out for the night… tata…

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AOL’s Point and Speak…

General

A few years ago, I bought that AOL Point and Speak software… Why? Because, it’s every lazy person’s dream! You don’t have to type! You just chat into a stupid microphone and the software types it out for you!

It was SO awesome too! Well, KIND OF awesome anyway. It did SUCK having to go back through EVERYTHING you chatted out into text form and correcting all of the damn fuck-ups it’s done. Well, here’s a few examples I’ve found on some site

I said into the mic: I can’t help falling in love with you
Point & Speak typed: I can’t help fully unload with you

I said into the mic: Amazing grace! how sweet the sound
Point & Speak typed: Amazing grace House sweep the sound

I said into the mic: Britney Spears
Point & Speak typed: Brady Spears (What? Did she have a sex change?)

I said into the mic: Then we will be debt-free!
Point & Speak typed: Then we will be dead free.

I said into the mic: …we’ve talked about taking a trip… possibly Jamaica, Florida or Hawaii.
Point & Speak typed: …we’ve talked about taking a trip… possibly Jamaica, Florida or why he.

I don’t know how all of those were fucked up, especially if the guy that was talking into the microphone wasn’t drunk!? Or, maybe he was, I’m not sure! Or, perhaps a drunk fuck created the software itself? Nah, because then everything would be typed into a slur…

I said into the mic: Congress has impeached President Bill Clinton for perjury and obstruction of justice in the matter of his affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky.
Point & Speak typed: Congress has in peach President Bill Clinton for perjury and obstruction of justice in the matter of his affair with White House intern Monaco whiskey.

I said into the mic: As for our family, we had an eventful year but a lovely Christmas.
Point & Speak typed: As for our family, we had uneventful year bought a lovely Christmas.

I said into the mic: …she is no longer “zoned out”…
Point & Speak typed: …she is no longer sold out…

I said into the mic: As for his behavior, it’s typical for a nine-year-old except for some mouthiness now and then.
Point & Speak typed: As for his behavior, it’s typical for a nine-year-old except for some Month-Ended-Down then.

I said into the mic: …he has moved in with Kathy and commutes to work each day.
Point & Speak typed: …he has moved in with Kathy and commits to work each day.

I said into the mic: Jim and Kathy
Point & Speak typed: GM and Kathy

I said into the mic: Dan & Joyce are okay.
Point & Speak typed: Dan and choice are okay.

I said into the mic: Patrick Ringer is selling Marie’s house. Patti may buy it.
Point & Speak typed: Patrick greater is selling Marie’s house. Patti may buy at.

I said into the mic: We paid for most of Joe’s orthodontia.
Point & Speak typed: We paid for most of Joe’s Orthodox a.

I said into the mic: We now pay Joe $3 per week in allowance
Point & Speak typed: We now paid Joel $3 per week in allowance

I said into the mic: Then we will be debt-free!
Point & Speak typed: Then we will be dead free.

I said into the mic: …empty tote boxes waiting to be filled with organized stuff
Point & Speak typed: …empty tote boxes waiting to be filled with organized of

I said into the mic: Go For It!
Point & Speak typed: Goal for it!

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Them little fucking shit-heads…

General

Every god damn time I get online, the little shit-heads are trying to bust down the back door cause they locked themselves the fuck in and they want out…

For all the fucking retarded motherfuckers out there, that basically means.. I GOTTA TAKE A FUCKING SHIT! It never fucking fails! All fucking god damn day I don’t gotta shit…but once I sit down at the computer to get online, I gotta take a huge healthy dump…

I’m starting to wonder if it’s the “Curse of the Wooden Chair” or something though too. Because when Jenn sat down on it for a little while, she had the feeling of having to take a shit also… Either way, it’s fucking bullshit.. it just never fucking fails!

I think I either gonna make a porta-pot built right into the chair, or, get another chair… which reminds me… Princess Babes… where’s that chair ya said about… LOL!

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Gene the fuckin Drama Queen…

General It Is Said

*Sniffle* *Sniffle*… Awww, apparently I was being too mean on the wp-testers emailing list, now my reply to this Gene guys email is being held for moderation.

It’s a shame too, because my last reply wasn’t even a bad one. Nor was it trying to keep things continuing, however, his was. Of course, as per usual, “they’ll” let “them” get the last word in on the list. That’s okay though, I’ll say my piece here.


It’s kinda fucked up though too, because Gene the Fuckin Drama Queen was the one to take the email over the edge and into an argumentative state. I was merely just being sarcastic with a few things, and bastard Gene Steinberg had to take it over and beyond just sarcasm.

Now you tell me, is my reply bad?

Gene Steinberg wrote:
I have a great bridge in Brooklyn, NY I can sell you real cheap.

Ha ha.

spencerp wrote:
Really!?!?!? I’m in dire NEED of a bridge!! This way I can throw people off of it if need be. Well, not just them but myself… how much you looking for? :P hahaha…

Nope, there was nothing wrong with it. Now, his on the other hand IS. It’s just asking for an argument.

Gene Steinberg wrote:
How about one to replace a couple of your teeth? :)

spencerp wrote:
Aww, is Gene the Drama Queen getting “tough” with me now… I’m flattered.
Your undies must be pulled up to tight in the ass crack, might wanna adjust it. I was just f-ing around.

Wow, for someone to point out needing a bridge to replace a couple of the teeth, he sure does alot of talking. I think the Golden State Bridge would be able to span across yours with no problems Gene… I mean, look at that HUGE gap there buddy.

Gene The Fuckin Drama Queen...

Don’t Gene the Fuckin Drama Queen look like a Goofy Gay closet case pedophile? Yes, yes he does.. I knew you’d agree with me… No wonder he has a strong interest in UFOs and other paranormal phenomena, his mother was human, and the father was alien. Fucking Goofy Gay Gene the Drama Queen.

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Knick, Knack, Paddy Whack (This Old Man)

Bitches It Is Said

It’s that time again people, time for another version of a nursery rhyme Twisted style! Sing it people!

Knick, Knack, Paddy Whack (Miss Jackie Is Fat, Ugly, And Needs A Smack)…

This fat ugly sow, she played two, she played knick knack while eating her poo. Ew Ewww… With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This cattle fucking slut, she played four, she played knick knack while dressed up like a stable whore standing at the stable door. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This ugly whore bag bitch, she played six, she played knick knack while fucking huge ass elephant dicks. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This vomit equivalent ugly ass bitch, she played eight, she played knick knack while tied up at the front gate. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This sick bitch, she played ten, she played knick knack while dry humping “Big Ben”. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This pussy stinking big bitch, she played eleven, she played knick knack down below in hell because even if Jesus was drunk he wouldn’t let her in Heaven. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

This acne and pimple infested ugly sow, she played twelve, she played knick knack while eating all junk food from the grocery store shelves. With a knick, knack, paddy whack, Give the big ugly ass bitch a bone; This fucking cunt couldn’t give a man a measly hard-on.

Well, that’s all folks! More Twisted style Nursery Rhymes coming later… Here’s the link to the original version of the Nursery Rhyme…

This was originally posted Dec 2, 3007… Just wanted to bring back some old laughs.

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