ass

Callwave…

General Rants

I’m sure (most) everyone knows what Callwave is, right? If ya don’t, ah well… be glad ya didn’t. In brief, it’s an online answering machine for the cheap fucks like me. Ya know, someone that still uses shitty $9.95 a month Juno dialup Internet.

And also, when you only have one phone line in the house, your asshole friends, family members, and debt collectors can still leave ya that “special” message you don’t wanna hear anyway! But anyway, nothing pisses me off more than my shitty brother calling every god damn time I get online!!

The fucking asshole can’t call while I’m at work all god damn fucking day, he has to wait until he figures I’m just getting online, or I am already online!!!! I get home from shit work around 4:15pm EST, and he’ll call around 5pm when I usually get online! He can’t call any earlier, because after all… I’m not home to get online, nor am I usually online before 5pm. So naturally, the fat fuck face pain the fucking ass has to call at 5pm!

Nothing like… JUST SIGNING ONTO THE NET, and then the Callwave thing pops up! “INCOMING CALL! IT’S YOUR PAIN IN THE FUCKING ASS BROTHER AGAIN!!” …. So naturally… I instantly click the X button, to close out the Callwave all together! And yell… “GO FUCK YOURSELF!”

Then yell downstairs to gram, “CALL MIKE AGAIN!! HE NEEDS TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN, BECAUSE HE FUCKING RETARDED!” I mean shit, the fuck nut can’t just call BEFORE I / someone else in the family gets online… He has to wait until we ARE ONLINE to call! It’s fucking bullshit!

Just like today, he called around 5:12pm… I closed out Callwave and yelled to gram to call him. She was like.. “Oh God! What now!?!?” So she called him. An hour later, I reopened Callwave… thinking it was SAFE again. Boy was I wrong! He fucking called 14 times more, up till 6:50pm from the last time he spoke with her at 5:13pm!! Again, I yelled down to gram… “CALL MIKE AGAIN!!! HE CALLED 14 TIMES SINCE YA LAST SPOKE WITH THE RETARD ABOUT HOUR AGO!”

She was like (while throwing arms and hands up in air)… “OH GOD! WHAT’S HE WANT NOW!?!?!? I JUST SPOKE WITH HIM A LITTLE BIT AGO!!!!” I told pap before, even though we NEED Callwave, I still think we should cancel it and use that money spent on Callwave payments, to block his number and his fat ugly 60 year old girlfriend’s number from calling here… He laughed.

It’s fucked up though too, it’s not just the pain in the fucking ass brother that calls WHILE I’m just getting online, or while already online… it’s anyone in general. But mostly my family members. Of course, there’s only one person that can call whenever and I won’t get mad at em for it…

Either way, like in this image preview here (click image to see full version), I wish I had the following options to choose from:

Brother + Callwave = Pain in the fucking ass!

I know, I know… get something better then Juno Dialup, ya cheap bastard! My response: “Ya gonna give me the money for something better?” No? Aight then, shut the fuck up and call me, so I can close Callwave on ya! Well, for everyone except one person… :D

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What’s happening?

General

Well, since you all don’t know shit about what’s going on with me lately, I’ll fill ya in…

  1. Besides working my ass off at the job, I’ve been working my ass off on the site in various ways. More details about this coming in another post. I know, boring! Shut the fuck up, who asked you anyway!?!?
  2. In the process of moving ALL of my domains from shitty Dreamhost.com to Namecheap.com, and moved ALL of my sites from Dreamhost.com to my buddies host. Notice the improvement? I sure do! Hasn’t been down yet (knock on wood), and it’s faster than a couple of rabbits during mating season…

    The only domain that hasn’t been moved yet, is VindictiveBastard.com. Damn the 60 day ICANN rules!! It should be able to move on the 18th of this month though.. *crosses fingers* .. Then, it’s bye bye shitty Nightmarehost.com, I mean… Dreamhost.com.
  3. Still working ass off at shit work, and just haven’t been in a mood to post lately!

Welp, that’s about it! Now it’s time to take a little nap, like good old lazy bastards do!

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Unbinding the ties that bind…and binding new ones…

General

Well, I uninstalled AIM messenger for good tonight. Fuck it. I’m tired of the damn thing crashing my shit on the computer, and slowing things down to an incredible slow speed…

Microsoft Windows (XP Home Edition) sucks more dick than a cheap hooker on the weekend anyway… so why make things worse by having shitty programs like AIM helping to fuck things up more!?!?!? Pfft, please…

That’s why I’m saying… USE SKYPE PRICKS! Go download the son of a bitch and install it… I’d rather everyone use Skype instead of the other shitty ass messengers out there …

Skype is the FIRST messenger that don’t jerk around, crash my shit, freeze up my screens, and it don’t take long to login and start chatting with! AIM is the WORST one to fuck my shit up.. hence for removing the piece of flopping shitty fucking crap… Got brains? Get Skype… no more bullshit hype…

I got my Skype username for anyone that wants it, just send email via the Contact page. It’s not a hard one to remember, unless you’re an uneducated prick that don’t got a G.E.D yet…

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Ladies Be Warned!

General

This is some ladies Bash on Bashmyex.com, that I had commented on.

Hick Loser!

“James has previously been convicted of several felony counts of forgery and swindle (you can see for yourself at www.mncriminals.com). He is also currently being charged with more forgery charges. He lied to me and used me and many other people as well. I think it is only fair to warn everyone I possibly can to make certain you check into him before you believe any words that come out of his mouth.”

I’m surprised he was even ABLE to use anyone the way he looks… He looks like a wanna-be cool normal person, but really he an ugly ass hick motherfucker, that I’m sure can’t get a normal decent chick creaming the jeans…

I can only picture him out with the horses sucking them off, cause his fat hick sister ain’t putting out for him… His bucktooth Aunt or Mother might, but sister doesn’t.. WOW, I can’t see how any smart person could have gotten played / used / swindled out of money… just look at his moon crater face there… Jesus Fuck!

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The Kitty Cat…

General

For all you cat lovers out there, ya might wanna get a box of tissues ready… cause this story isn’t pretty…

Like I just posted on my buddies BRAND NEW site, I-AM-MEAN.COM. Here’s a little story that happened while hanging out with an old hick buddy of mine…

While I was still in middle school, me and my hick friend were hanging out at his barn and found a stray kitty cat. Like a couple of rebel teenagers, we were drinking booze and liquor…

I then made the remark to him, “Wait, how long has it been since you had pussy?” He said, “Oh, a few year!” I said, “Well, there’s one for ya! You didn’t even have to search for one, it came to YOU!” Anyway, like a couple of rebel teenagers drinking booze and crap, decided to fuck with the pussy cat a bit…

First, we put milk in it’s bowl, then I attempted to try and get the cat to drink kerosene, being that it’s clear and doesn’t really have an oder to it… But the fucking cat wouldn’t drink it!! Damn it! So, I then grabbed the lighter and lit the kerosene on fire in front of it’s face… cat didn’t like THAT too much.. LOL!

Then, we tried ramming an M80 up it’s ass, lighting it and run. Damn cat squealed and screamed like a motherfucker… Of course it would, it was getting an M80 rammed up it’s ass. LOL! Damn cat wouldn’t stay still for us, so … hick buddy decided to lock it in this little cage, then run over it with the riding lawnmower… boy, did the cat hate that one too…

I then said, “Welp, I guess we’re not getting any pussy tonight!”

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Conversations with myself, because the wall is on vacation…

Feelings It Is Said

Yeah, usually I have nice conversations with the wall here in my room, but the fucking bastard decided it was vacation time and just up and left me here…

Ah well, I have awesome conversations with myself anyway!! It also minimizes the chance for a nasty argument too. Anyway, here is one of the latest conversations with myself…

Me: Self, what’s the fucking point of talking to people anyway? I mean, what the hell… it’s not like they’re going to care what you say, they aren’t going to talk to you anyway when they tell you to call or hit them up on messengers… They never answering nor returning calls and messages anyway…

Self: I know what you’re saying, I know how you feel too. My suggestion is, fuck em all!! FUCK EM ALL TO HELL!!!!!!! FUCK EM TO THE CURBS AND FUCK THEIR ROTTING DECAYING BODIES…

Me: Woah there killer! For one thing, I’m NOT into fucking rotting decaying bodies. But, if I WAS, it wouldn’t be with anyone but myself!

Yeah, you heard right… I’d fuck myself right in my decaying tight asshole. Why not right? I mean fuck, I’m always being bent over and getting railed in the ass anyway… fuck it!!

Fuck people, fuck phones, fuck messengers, fuck life, fuck feelings, fuck respect, fuck jobs, fuck the Law, fuck probation, fuck fines, fuck myself, fuck everything else… and last but not least; fuck you too! FUUUUUUUUUUCK!! I WISH I COULD GET DRUUUUUNK!!! FUCKING SUCKS MONKEY BALLS AND LICKS HORSE ASS!!!!!!!! FUCKING PROBATION!!!!!!!! FUCKING EVERYTHING!!!! FUCK IT TO HELL!!

Self: I couldn’t have said it better myself!

Me: Wait, you are myself!

Self: Oh that’s right, I keep forgetting.

Me: Yeah dumb-fuck, now go fuck yourself too…

Self: Okay!

Jesus!, I love the conversations I have with myself…Now kindly go fuck yourselves…

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One of the worst drivers in the world, are the old farts..

General

Here below is why…

1. They are fucking retarded. Their brains are fucking mush, just like the road kills that lay on the road with their brains splattered every where….

2. THEY CAN’T STAY IN THEIR OWN GOD DAMN LANES!! I’m not sure how you feel about it, but I think they made yellow lines down the center of the road for a reason!?!?

Also, it’s not a “game” to see who can take out the most “side view mirrors” of the cars coming in opposite direction…

IMHO, I think they should just all drive off a fuckin cliff some wheres. Of course their trip down would take a day and half since they slow ass motherfuckers.. but that’s okay! They still manage to get where they going regardless so it’s all good!

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E-Harmony.com should really be called….

Rants

E-BULLSHIT.COM   THE “E” IN E-HARMONY.COM STANDS FOR “EMPTY” BECAUSE THATS WHAT THEY WILL DO TO YOUR WALLET! BECAUSE YOU CAN’T FIND A DAMN DATE OR LOVER ON YOUR OWN! YOU HAVE TO RELY ON A STUPID ASS WEBSITE TO DO IT FOR YOU!

Now, I just joined to see what it was like, because I had tried other various “hook-up” sites years ago, because my damn wife was being a bitch from hell and I wanted something better! I also just joined to see what all the so called “good” advantages were. But this E-harmony site takes the fucking cake!

“GET YOUR $40.00 VALUE, PROFILE FOR FREE!”  FREE.. MY DAMN ASS! IT MIGHT BE IN THE BEGINNING AFTER SPENDING A FUCKING 2 TO 4 HOURS TO GET THROUGH THE DAMN SURVEYS AND SHIT! I just wasted a good 4 hours of wacking off time right there! Fucking Bullshit! Anyways…then after finally getting through the piece of shit surveys and shit…I noticed these plans then:

1 month plan for ONLY $49.95

3 months for ONLY $99.95

6 months for ONLY $159.95

12 months for ONLY $249.95

Don’t you just love how they use the word ONLY!? I do! They act like everyone on the planet: SHIT HOLE makes enough money to pay for this BULLSHIT every fucking month or something! IF IT’S ONLY THIS AND THAT A MONTH, CAN YOU PAY IT FOR ME ASSHOLES!? YOUR BRINGING IN THE SUCKERS MONEY NOW, CAN YOU PAY FOR THE YEAR PLAN FOR ME!? 

Here below are some more names they should be called because they just a bunch of rip-off bastards!

1) E-TAKEALLYOURDAMNMONEYFORNOTHING.COM

2) E-CROCKOFSHIT.COM

3) E-EMPTYYOURWALLETTOUSBECAUSEYOUADUMBASS.COM

4) E-WEOWNYAKNOWGODDAMNIT.COM

5) E-PAYUPSUCKERS.COM

Here below should be the ANTI:  E-HARMONY.COM site’s urls.

1) E-HARMONYCANLICKMYNUTS.COM

4) E-HARMONYSHOULDBURNINHELL.COM

5) E-HARMONYMYASS.COM

6) E-HARMONYISBULLSHIT.COM

7) E-HARMONYISFORRETARDS.COM

8) E-HARMONYLICKSHAIRYBALLSACKS.COM

9) E-HARMONYEMPTIEDMYWALLET.COM

10) E-HARMONYDRAINSYOURMONEYSUPPLY.COM

11) E-HARMONYAREJUSTABUNCHOFBASTARDS.COM

12) E-HARMONYISACROCKOFSHIT.COM

13) E-HARMONYISARIPOFFSITE.COM

14) E-HARMONYALLTHEWAYTOBANCRUPCY.COM

15) E-HARMONYISLIVINGINHARMONYBECAUSETHEYHAVEALLYOURDAMNMONEY.COM

16) E-HARMONY=EBULLSHIT.COM

17) E-HARMONYISHORSESHIT.COM

OK, there! I think that about covers the E-HARMONY BULLSHIT! THEY CAN TAKE THEIR MONTHLY PLANS AND SHOVE IT UP THEIR E-HARMONY ASSHOLES! I’m done….laterz..

Twisted

(Please note: Out of all the dating sites I have tried, the one I found most helpful was www.othersingles.com If your trying to find someone better, I wish you luck!)

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Mowing the grass is a pain in the Ass!

Rants

MOWING THE GRASS IS A BIG PAIN IN THE ASS!

It seems like every 2 to 3 days you have to get out the fucking lawn mowers and waste all that $2.00 a gallon of gas just to mow the damn grass!

IT WOULD BE NICE IF IT DIDN’T FUCKING RAIN ALL THE DAMN TIME! JESUS! The god damn grass just keeps growing and growing and shit, you can’t even have a break from mowing the stupid lawn! Before too long I’ll be having to mow the grass in my sleep! Wake up with grass stains and clippings all over the place!

I just wish someone would invent the ultimate grass cutter or leveler! I hope in the future like anything else you can buy that makes your life easier, they would invent the DIAL THE GRASS, or THE LAWN LEVELER! This would be fucking awesome, because…all you’d have to do is some how install a main control panel inside your home and turn a dial or push a button and the grass just lowers under the ground!

You could have a level system to! Just put it on height level of 3 and push the button or turn the dial till the grass goes under the ground to suit your liking! DAMN! I would love it! The products selling motto (slogan) would be like some of the following I made up below here:

1) Don’t let the grass kick your ass! buy the DIAL THE GRASS!

2) Now you can kick the grass’s ass by using DIAL THE GRASS!

3) Don’t be a dumbass, buy DIAL THE GRASS!

4) Save your gas by buying DIAL THE GRASS!

Shit! I think it would awesome! I can’t wait for someone to make this up some day. I think it will be to, because everyone is about being LAZY! Even with taking care of the lawn. These days even the lawn-care products are making life easier for everyone! I dunno, I’m going to think of a way to make this possible and if I come up with something, I’ll share it with you! Well! I’m done…I gotta go mow the fucking lawn again! Laterz!

(Please note: I’m sure I’m going to have Robbie replying to this post or some other dumbass that thinks they know everything about anything! Please save your breath and keep your fucking mouth shut! I know what you could do, come mow my grass so I don’t have to!)

Twisted

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My Ex-Wife – The Bitch!!!!

Bitches

I know I shouldn’t be really posting this, but fuck it lol. I know it got a lot of attention before so here it goes!

I need to get this all out some how, some where lol. I’ll just put down in a numbered format what I had to put up with 24-7!!

1) She is a total bitch!

2) If she isn’t a total bitch! She is a bitch of the bitches from HELL!!!

3) She is a spoiled little bitch that has to get her bitchy way!

4) All she does is start trouble and complain about everything and anything. Even if it’s stuff she does or wants to do, so she knows it’s how she wants things done, she still bitches.

5) She manipulates and plays the boss all the time and tries to control every situation.

6) If we get into arguments whenever, she always has the excuse to leave and run home to mommy, being that she is 21 now and should try and talk it out with me…no can’t do that.

7) She only acknowledges the bad that I do, and never the good, and rubs in my face how bad of a father or parent I am. When I’m the one that took care of our first son the majority of the time anyways….and he loves me more cause I was always there for him while she was always out running around and shit.

8.) She’ll expect me to watch the boys almost all the time while she goes out having fun, ramming and romping around where ever, which is no biggy to me, but when I want to run some where to do errands or whatever, she says, “Your leaving me with both of the boy’s” like it’s a chore or something, like BITCH!! What do you think happens to me 24-7 almost!!! But I’m such a bad parent, fuck you bitch and fuck off!!!! GO TO HELL!!!! WHORE BAG, MUSTACHE FACE, MAN LOOKING BITCH LMAO!!!!!

9) The bills are, our own bills, her bills and mine are separate, only if she needs help with her’s then that’s ok……!!!!!!!

10) She tries to get my family against me, and her’s, when she is the starter of the arguments and whatever. Then when they stick up for her, she makes a smart ass smile.

11) Even though enough time after our first son was born, I’m usually deprived of sex. And now since our second was born, even though her tubes are tied, it’s pretty much probably going to be the same way.

12) She doesn’t like to give me head, hand jobs, kiss to much any more, ride me, doggy style or 69 or just about anything. Even when doing it the regular way, she moans and bitches about it hurting or whatever.

13) She gets mad at me for porning!!!

14) She does things around my family that I don’t like, just outta a spite I guess. Just to piss me off and get me going!!!! Example: Like, she’ll always have her underwear and ass crack hanging out facing the entrance to the living-room so my pap and other male family members can see, it’s like bitch!! face the other way or pull your pants up!!!! But, nooo she can’t do that. Or she’ll wear a shirt that kinda hangs down far, so when she bends over you can see her breasts there.

Now! When I wore shorts around my son’s therapists, she claims she could see my dick hanging there, and I wasn’t aloud to wear shorts no more when they were around, so I make sure to wear pants, but it’s just so god damn hard for her to do what I ask about the underwear and shit!!!!! FUCK THAT!!!!!

15) She is just a fucking bitch!!!!! And I want someone different, I never ever had someone like this before, and it’s really driving me fucking nuts!!!

16) She makes stress for herself and me all the damn time! Can’t go without an argument at least once or twice a day! She even admitted she is a bitch and likes to make my life a living hell!!

17) She bitches if I don’t work at all, but at same time wants me to play babysitter all the time, and then she bitches when I work too damn much. Even though the money that I make is pretty good, working too much is a no no. But, she wants that though…fucking can’t ever please her what’s so ever.

18.) It’s ok for her to bitch and get everything off her chest, but I’m not suppose to at all…like I don’t have any feelings or emotions what so ever!! I’m just suppose to take all the shit, like I’m wearing a fucking sign that says, “ DUMP ALL YOUR FUCKING STRESS AND BITCHING ONTO ME” I’M THE FUCKING STRESS DUMPSTER!!! FUCK THAT SHIT!!! ALL THE BITCHES NEED TO REALIZE THE WORLD DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND JUST THEM!!!! JUST LIKE MOST AT MY JOB!! THEY WONDER WHY THEY HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH BOYFRIENDS AND OR THEY JUST UP AND LEAVE THEM>>>> CYA LATER FUCKING BITCHES!! I”LL FIND SOMEONE NEW!!

19) Or… I like it when she or other girls gang up against just me….that is fucking bullshit!!! Like I have a chance in hell to win a mouth battle to start with!!!

20) Or I like it when she or others do not listen worth a shit to me about anything, especially when I have gone through so much shit in my life it’s not fucking funny….no, they wanna do what they wanna do and find shit out the hard way all the damn time…!!!!! Then they have the nerve to take all their stress and bitchy attitude out on me!! THAT IS FUCKING BULLSHIT TO!! GOD DAMN FUCKING BIPOLAR BITCHES FROM HELL!!!!! NEED FUCKING COUNSELING AND SHIT!!!

21) Or, they call me names and shit, like “stupid” or “dumby” but they gotta go figure, they are bitches and bipolars from hell!!! That kinda cause that shit to happen to me to start with!!!! CAUSE, EXCESS UN-NEEDED STRESS AND BITCHING CAUSES BRAIN CELL DAMAGE!!!! WHORE BAG BITCHES!!!

OK, HERE IS A TASTE OF THE BULLSHIT I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ABOUT HAVING SEX OR ANYTHING RELATED TO SEXUAL STUFF.

1) She bitches when I snuggle close, cause my whiskers poke through her clothes, even if I shave my face. It’s the mustache she bitches about.

2) She bitches about kissing, she bitches when I tease her to attempt to get her horny.

3) She bitches when I porn cause I’m horny as hell, and she isn’t in the mood. It’s like bitch!! Be happy I’m not bugging you then!!!!

4) She bitches when or if I’m out looking for a new life with someone else cause of the shit she puts me through…like I’m going to wanna stay with her!!!! I think not!! But, it’s ok for her to write some guy in prison the whole time we were married….that is fucking bullshit!!!!!!

5) She bitches cause it hurts to fuck her.

6) She bitches when we take showers together and I wack off over her.

7) She can’t really give me hand jobs in the shower, her arms and wrists get to tired or sore, she can’t give head cause she’ll choke on it and it’s sick

8.) She bitches when I touch her when she is nude.

9) She bitches about me sucking her toes.

10) She bitches or complains or whatever about everything and then don’t like me asking about having sex all the time to.

Well….She will soon be the X Wife The Bitch!! HEHE!!

Twisted

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