Here is why…
Both male and female are spending their precious time grunting, moaning, groaning, biting on a piece of stick, pushing out one or two things through a small hole. In the end, they either have one or two little or big shits to deal with. One or two, they’ll always need some tissue.
Either way, they all have to be taken care of… Only difference is, the real shits get flushed, and the others just never seem to get enough.
Yeah, that’s me. I guess you could also say I’m immature and so forth as well. But, oh well, fuck it to hell! Why? Because, it’s just ME! And I’m wonderfully awesome no matter what anyone else thinks…because yeah, that’s just how it is…
For example; when I used to be a shitty custodian at the local YMCA, I cleaned it so spotless and wonderful that they needed to wear sunglasses about a 1 mile radius from it… No matter the shittiest job on this planet of shit, I could make things so wonderfully awesome and spotless… Even if I was shoveling Miss. Jackie’s cow shit…
The farmers would look in amazement… “Wow, I need that guy to be MY farm-hand!” Anyway, I don’t know what the point of this post WAS, really. I guess just to brag a little bit, but I guess since I did all that, I should head to bed.
That’s if I could even sleep, because I shine so bright from my glow of awesomeness. Damn, where’s the night shades at… I’d hate to keep myself awake because of myself. Anyway, I’m off to bed… \m/ rock on!!
Ya know what REALLY sucks? Having those hot and steamy chirpy farts… Or as I also like to call them, “Silent but deadly farts”.
Ya know, those farts you get after eating alot of hot and spicy foods and such? Damn they suck! Besides having the feeling of a Volcano about to explode, you’re worrying about the hot molten lava shit that will flow out of your asshole, burning off your asshole, hairs, and anything else in it’s path…
On top of all THAT shit, hot and steamy farts are very unpredictable! Just when you think you’re going to let out a hot and steamy stinky chirpy fart, it turns out to be hot liquid shit, or in other words: diarrhea. God damn that shit really sucks. And I mean that literally. I guess the only true prevention of that, is to not eat hot and spicy foods and such.
Um, yeah right! I gotta have my hot and spicy foods! Oh shit, I’ll be back in a little bit…the Volcano is about to blow! More Cheyenne Pepper please!
Yeah, usually I have nice conversations with the wall here in my room, but the fucking bastard decided it was vacation time and just up and left me here…
Ah well, I have awesome conversations with myself anyway!! It also minimizes the chance for a nasty argument too. Anyway, here is one of the latest conversations with myself…
Me: Self, what’s the fucking point of talking to people anyway? I mean, what the hell… it’s not like they’re going to care what you say, they aren’t going to talk to you anyway when they tell you to call or hit them up on messengers… They never answering nor returning calls and messages anyway…
Self: I know what you’re saying, I know how you feel too. My suggestion is, fuck em all!! FUCK EM ALL TO HELL!!!!!!! FUCK EM TO THE CURBS AND FUCK THEIR ROTTING DECAYING BODIES…
Me: Woah there killer! For one thing, I’m NOT into fucking rotting decaying bodies. But, if I WAS, it wouldn’t be with anyone but myself!
Yeah, you heard right… I’d fuck myself right in my decaying tight asshole. Why not right? I mean fuck, I’m always being bent over and getting railed in the ass anyway… fuck it!!
Fuck people, fuck phones, fuck messengers, fuck life, fuck feelings, fuck respect, fuck jobs, fuck the Law, fuck probation, fuck fines, fuck myself, fuck everything else… and last but not least; fuck you too! FUUUUUUUUUUCK!! I WISH I COULD GET DRUUUUUNK!!! FUCKING SUCKS MONKEY BALLS AND LICKS HORSE ASS!!!!!!!! FUCKING PROBATION!!!!!!!! FUCKING EVERYTHING!!!! FUCK IT TO HELL!!
Self: I couldn’t have said it better myself!
Me: Wait, you are myself!
Self: Oh that’s right, I keep forgetting.
Me: Yeah dumb-fuck, now go fuck yourself too…
Self: Okay!
Jesus!, I love the conversations I have with myself…Now kindly go fuck yourselves…
Just got an email from PayPal today regarding that PayPal claim I had filed against Kivanoconman, I mean Kivanoconnor!
Oh God I’m fucking awesome! I love waking up in the morning and seeing this email in the email box whoo hoo!!
Dear (Name Removed Privacy Reasons),
We have concluded our investigation into your case and have decided in your favor.
We were able to recover $46.68 USD and this amount has been credited to you. Please allow five business days for this adjustment to be posted.
If you are due any additional funds, we will make our best effort to recover the balance from the seller.
If the seller’s account has insufficient funds to complete the refund owed to you, please be assured that we will take appropriate action against the seller’s account, which may include limitation of the seller’s account privileges.
———————————–
Transaction Details
———————————–Transaction Date: Mar 28, 2007
Transaction Amount: -$112.00 USD
Your Transaction ID: 97467926XH4313154
Seller’s Transaction ID: 7YN66305WN033051N
Case Number: PP-278-752-932
Seller’s Name: Kivan Oconnor
Seller’s Email: kivan.oconnor@yahoo.co.uk
SORRY KIVANOCOCKSUCKER! YOU LOSE! I WIN!
Just for a celebration post, I’ll post one with various names for you, using your own name!! And by the way…don’t think for a minute you’re getting off the hot seat!
YOU FUCKED ME OVER! YOU WILL STILL BE ASSED OUT! I’LL SEE TO IT THAT YOU DON’T FUCK EVERYONE ELSE OVER!!
YOU WILL STILL BE REPORTED ON RIPOFFREPORT.COM AND YOU’LL STILL GET A PERSONAL PAGE ON “ED“!
THAT’S ALL, THAT’S IT, NO MORE SHIT FROM ME! WHEE!
Oh God I’m so happy and awesome! Hey! That’s to be expected though, I was just born awesome! And any chick that’s with me is awesome, and our future kids will be awesome!
They all follow in my footsteps of total awesomeness!
UPDATE: Fuck it! I’ve decided to put the “Asshole’s Online” back on the sidebar, I even put it up top of everything else. 
I decided to make some theme changes, nothing major of course. Ok here goes, rather then showing all of the Categories on the front page, I went ahead and installed the Zelig Dropdown Cats v1.4 plugin.
I removed the “Asshole’s Online” display for the sidebar. Please remember though, you can access that page via the top navigation menu button called “Useronline”. Which points here.
I have also up-ed the amount of posts to display for the “Latest Posts” and “Latest Comments” to 15, instead of 10. I did this to help maybe concentrate a lot of the focus on the posts, rather then the less important bullshit! That’s all, that’s it, no more shit! Tata!!
I AM SO SICK OF THE BITCHES CALLING ME AN ASSHOLE! IF ANYTHING, YOU ARE THE REASON I AM ONE!
Here below is just a little list of why I am so defensive at work or becoming more of an “asshole” to the bipolar bitches!
1) I CAN’T SPEAK MY MIND ON SHIT! – THEY CAN BITCH AND SAY ALL THEY WANNA, BUT…I’M SUPPOSE TO KEEP MY DAMN MOUTH SHUT! NAA! DON’T FUCKING THINK SO BITCHES! REALITY CHECK!
2) I CAN’T DEFEND MYSELF! – THEY CAN CALL ME WHATEVER NAMES THEY WANNA…AND I’M JUST SUPPOSE TO TAKE IT ALL AND NOT SAY SHIT! THAT IS FUCKING BULLSHIT! THEY ALL BITCHES WITH A PROBLEM AND NEED THERAPY AND MEDS!
3) THEY ARE THE BIGGEST FUCKING HYPOCRITS IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY! – THEY BITCH AT ME FOR CERTAIN THINGS….BUT THEN THEY DO IT AND IT’S OK! WHATEVER BITCHES!
4) THEY PRETTY MUCH JUST FLIRT AND ACT LIKE O YEAH…..I’LL GET WITH U AND THEN NOT! – THAT’S ONLY TO GET WHAT THEY WANT AND SHIT AND THEN IT’S BACK ON THE BACK BURNER AGAIN!
5) THEY AIN’T USING ME! HAHAHA! WHATEVER U SAY! – NAA….THEY AIN’T USING ME AT ALL..NOO WAY! TWISTED….CAN U MAKE ME A CD? I WANT THESE SONGS, BLAH BLAH BLAH…. … NOT! NO ONE GIVES ME MONEY TOWARDS THE CDS, SO I CAN KEEP THE BLANKS STOCKED UP! ANOTHER THING IS…THEY FLIRT AND SHIT…SO THEIR WORKLOAD JUST NONCHALANTLY GETS PUT ON ME…MMMM…..I WONDER HOW THAT HAPPENED?! HEAD GAMES AND LIARS!
6) THEY MAKE FUN OF ME AND EVERYONE ELSE! BUT, THEY HATED THAT WHEN GOING TO SCHOOL, OR WHATEVER! IT’S LIKE…NOW …..THEY MUST FEEL SPECIAL! ALOT OF ATTENTION…OR SOMETHING…..AND NOW THEY TREATING CERTAIN PEOPLES JUST LIKE THEY WERE TREATED IN SCHOOL OR WHATEVER! THAT IS FUCKING IGNORANT AND BULLSHIT!
7) THEY CALL ME AN ASSHOLE OR JERK….BUT…..LOOK IN THE FUCKING MIRROR BITCHES! I WONDER WHY I’M TURNING INTO AN ASSHOLE TOWARDS YOU! IF YOU TREAT PEOPLES WITH DISRESPECT….EXPECT IT BACK! THAT’S PART OF LIFE AND IT’S TIME TO GROW THE FUCK UP! WELCOME TO LIFE BITCHES!
8) WHEN SOMEONE OR SOMETHING IN THEIR LIFE PISSES THEM OFF OR UPSETS THEM….IT’S TIME TO TREAT TWISTED LIKE SHIT! THEY TAKE OUT ALL THEIR PROBLEMS AND SHIT ON ME! WHEN I ASK THEM QUESTIONS THAT ARE NICE OR WHATEVER…..THEY JUST SNAP ON ME AND TREAT ME LIKE SHIT! FUCK OFF AND DIE BITCHES!
9) THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO TREAT REAL FRIENDS! THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO PICK MEN! THEY JUST DON’T KNOW SHIT! THEY THINK THEY DO….BUT REALLY THEY DON’T!
10) THEY KEEP FORGETTING TO TAKE THEIR FUCKING MEDICATIONS! I THINK THIS IS ANOTHER REASON THEY JUST KEEP GIVING ATTITUDE FOR NOTHING! START TAKING THE MEDICATIONS AND START MARKING DOWN WHEN YA TAKE THEM!
11) THIS KINDA GOES WITH NUMBER 8, BUT…WHEN SOMEONE OR SOMETHING PISSES THEM OFF. THEY TELL ME ….I MIGHT SNAP ON YOU…JUST LETTING YOU KNOW A HEAD OF TIME. IF YOU DO SOMETHING STUPID OR WHATEVER! NOW…WHEN OR IF I WAS IN A BAD MOOD….I WASN’T SUPPOSE TO TAKE SHIT OUT ON PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY IF THEY DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG! NOW WHY IS IT OK FOR THEM BITCHES TO DO IT, BUT NOT ME!? THAT’S FUCKED UP AND WRONG! IT’S THERAPY TIME BITCHES!
12) THEY LIKE TO TAG TEAM WITH OTHER BITCHES! NOW!.. YA KNOW RIGHT THERE IT’S AN INSTANT LOSING SITUATION! I WISH THAT MALE COOK DIDN’T QUIT…HE DIDN’T LIKE THEM ANYMORE THEN ME! HE WOULD TELL THEM ALL OFF TO AND MAKE THEM BITCHES CRY HAHAHA!
13) IT’S OK FOR THEM TO TELL SEXUAL RELATED STORIES TO ME AND STUFF….OR JUST ABOUT BOYFRIEND RELATIONSHIPS…..BUT, THEY TELL ME WHEN THEY ARE TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIPS AND SHIT! THAT’S FUCKED UP TO!
14) THEY CALL ME IMMATURE! HAHAHA! WHATEVER BITCHES! 99.9999999% OF THE TIME…THEY ACTING LIKE LITTLE KIDS FROM HELL AND TREATING ME LIKE SHIT! THEN EXPECT ME TO TAKE IT LIKE…..THERE IS NOTHING WRONG! THE VERBAL INSULTS, THE NONCHALANTLY USING, THE FLIRTING, THE EMOTIONAL ABUSE, THE MENTAL ABUSE DAILY! BUT, I’M JUST A FUCKING HAPPY CAMPER! MY LIFE IS PEACHY! I LOVE MY LIFE….NOT!!!!!! WHERE’S THE GUN SO I CAN END IT RIGHT THERE AND SPLATTER MY BRAINS ALL OVER THE BITCHES FACES! NOW THERE! HOW YOU LIKE THAT FUCKERS! I MY AS WELL END IT AND GO STRAIGHT TO HELL RIGHT! FUCK THE TRAINING FOR IT….
There, I had to get that off my chest! I think there is still more, but.. they will come later! I know they’ll prolly reply to this while I’m in bed or something…so I won’t be online when they reply! But, when or if they do! I will have a nice reply for them! Ta ta….laterz
Twisted
I just love relationships! You know why!? Cause it never fucking fails…you always end up getting hurt in the end by some bitch or asshole saying they won’t hurt you, but they do anyways. Go fucking figure right?! I mean this is a bunch of shit!
They always tell you that they won’t hurt you, fuck you over, cheat on you and blah blah. But then they do it any fucking ways! THAT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF! They also tend to tell you how much they have been hurt and played before, and DO NOT WANT THAT AGAIN! But then they do it you anyways! I’M FUCKING SICK OF THIS SHIT! My as well die a loner, fuck it all. Atleast you know you’ll be dead and can’t have anyone fuck you over and your feelings all ripped to hell!
Then they also have the balls to blame it ALL on you to. Like they never did anything wrong or something, NEWS FLASH CHEATING SLUTTY BITCH WHORES! YOU DID IT IF ANYONE! FUCK OFF AND DIE! I’m sure you will get along with some “wonderful” guys or girls in the septic tank!
Shit! This whole time of talking about shitty cheating sluts, assholes, relationships and bitches, makes me have to take a BIG SHIT NOW! THANKS FUCKERS! And while I’m taking that nice big shit! Please! Please! Keep it down! You know were DONE! I don’t need you begging me for a second chance from the depths of the septic tank while I’m on the shitter!
By the way, I’m sending down some buddies for you to play with! Maybe could even be that new HUBBY you have been looking for!? I dunno….I’m out…later!
Twisted
