fuck

The perfect “Girlfriend”, every man knows it’s true too!

General
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How can a man deny that a love doll like her above, couldn’t be the perfect “Girlfriend” for them? I mean seriously, here below is WHY they can’t deny she’d be the perfect girlfriend…

1.) She ain’t going to be a nagging bitch, she’ll keep her fucking mouth shut and take it like the little whore she is… And! You don’t have to worry about her complaining on your man size to any other chick. She’ll take you as you are, and be happy with you! She ain’t going to lie and go behind your back, giggling and making fun of your pleasure palace size or thickness to other nasty slutty whore-bag bitches..

2.) They only have to “buy her love” once, once a receipt is given at the cash register, then it’s done. No more money needs to be invested into the “Rubbermaid” bitch. She’s already built to perfection, and won’t need hair care products, nail polish, she ain’t going to need shoes, nor fed. She’s perfect how she is out of the box, and all at one low price! Drop pants, shove in your cock, cum, and done.

3.) Look at them tits! They’re fucking huge! Mmm, I’m getting horny over her sitting there, teasing me with them big titties. I just want to titty fuck them and cum all over her face! Hell, she won’t care, and she sure as hell ain’t going to complain… “Oh you bastard, you shot a load in my eye!” … Fucking bitch can’t speak, no complaints to worry about at all!

There you have it dumb fucks! The perfect girlfriend!

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Mr. Sarcastic Charismatic Asshole-astic Wonderfully Fantastic…

General It Is Said
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Yeah, that’s me. I guess you could also say I’m immature and so forth as well. But, oh well, fuck it to hell! Why? Because, it’s just ME! And I’m wonderfully awesome no matter what anyone else thinks…because yeah, that’s just how it is…

For example; when I used to be a shitty custodian at the local YMCA, I cleaned it so spotless and wonderful that they needed to wear sunglasses about a 1 mile radius from it… No matter the shittiest job on this planet of shit, I could make things so wonderfully awesome and spotless… Even if I was shoveling Miss. Jackie’s cow shit…

The farmers would look in amazement… “Wow, I need that guy to be MY farm-hand!” Anyway, I don’t know what the point of this post WAS, really. I guess just to brag a little bit, but I guess since I did all that, I should head to bed.

That’s if I could even sleep, because I shine so bright from my glow of awesomeness. Damn, where’s the night shades at… I’d hate to keep myself awake because of myself. Anyway, I’m off to bed… \m/ rock on!!

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Apparently everyone missed the memo that was hung up on my middle finger…

Feelings General
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Like I said in a post way back in Sept 2004. “Friends” are shit…

Now, before people start getting their panties into a bunch, this is referring to LOCAL OFFLINE “friends”, not online “friends”. Anyway, you know who are true friends, when they at least act like it, or ARE really being friends to you.

Evidently, a handful of local “friends” keep forgetting, that I really don’t give a flopping fuck if I don’t see them, hangout with them all the time, if they’re starting drama, or just talking smack about me behind my back. Um, I’m sorry to burst the bullshit bubble, but, I don’t give a flopping willy dilly fuck about anything, or anyone.

The expression “Bros before hos” apparently only works if it’s being used towards me. They used to always say that to me when I spent alot more time with my girlfriend, rather than them. All this dissing that you’re doing, all the bullshit drama you’re dishing out, all the general retarded games and bullshit you pull, won’t ever phase me a bit.

It just boils down to one thing, I was awesome before you came into my life, and will always be awesome if you’re in it or not. And no matter what ya all say or do, won’t phase me a bit. Why? Because, I really don’t give a flopping shit. Keep running your lives into the gutter and cesspool of shit fuckers.

While I’m at the top level of life, I’ll be sure to wave down to you all and take that daily jingle on you. Good luck with your shitty lives. Fuck you, fuck what you do, fuck everything about you, fuck ya all to hell. I’m done with this bullshit, tata!

P.S. Please note: Not ALL friends are shit, I put the word “friends” in quotes. Because it’s referring to those that CLAIM to be “friends”, but really aren’t anything but a steaming pile of fucking shit. There’s a difference.

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Christine, is the cesspool of shit…

Bitches Feelings Rants
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Keep getting me… Keep threatening me.. Keep it on…. Go ahead. Listen bitch, for all that shit you kept dissing on the “others”.. ya know… all that bitching you gave me hell for… for even contacting them, but yet YOU DID IT yourself..

It’s wonderful to know, there’s that “awesome” girl there for ya in the end…. that chick I wanted, that chick I so desired…really, she was the biggest bitch in the entire net universe. That same chick I confessed my love too, that same chick I couldn’t get over for months, that same chick I couldn’t get out of head and mind, that same chick I’ve shed tears over… when I never shed tears over a chick…

Was the same exact chick, doing the same things she gave me hell for. Talk about a hypocrite, talk about a back-stabber… talk about a drama queen cunt. YOU AND JAMES ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER!!!

For a man to look like this: James the fucking retard.. … I guess you’d have to be a female slut, cheating on a hubby? He can flick me off all he want, but he was the one being fucked… FUCKED OVER that is! Keep bringing threats bitch, keep harassing the harassers… it won’t stop until you stop…

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Callwave…

General Rants
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I’m sure (most) everyone knows what Callwave is, right? If ya don’t, ah well… be glad ya didn’t. In brief, it’s an online answering machine for the cheap fucks like me. Ya know, someone that still uses shitty $9.95 a month Juno dialup Internet.

And also, when you only have one phone line in the house, your asshole friends, family members, and debt collectors can still leave ya that “special” message you don’t wanna hear anyway! But anyway, nothing pisses me off more than my shitty brother calling every god damn time I get online!!

The fucking asshole can’t call while I’m at work all god damn fucking day, he has to wait until he figures I’m just getting online, or I am already online!!!! I get home from shit work around 4:15pm EST, and he’ll call around 5pm when I usually get online! He can’t call any earlier, because after all… I’m not home to get online, nor am I usually online before 5pm. So naturally, the fat fuck face pain the fucking ass has to call at 5pm!

Nothing like… JUST SIGNING ONTO THE NET, and then the Callwave thing pops up! “INCOMING CALL! IT’S YOUR PAIN IN THE FUCKING ASS BROTHER AGAIN!!” …. So naturally… I instantly click the X button, to close out the Callwave all together! And yell… “GO FUCK YOURSELF!”

Then yell downstairs to gram, “CALL MIKE AGAIN!! HE NEEDS TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN, BECAUSE HE FUCKING RETARDED!” I mean shit, the fuck nut can’t just call BEFORE I / someone else in the family gets online… He has to wait until we ARE ONLINE to call! It’s fucking bullshit!

Just like today, he called around 5:12pm… I closed out Callwave and yelled to gram to call him. She was like.. “Oh God! What now!?!?” So she called him. An hour later, I reopened Callwave… thinking it was SAFE again. Boy was I wrong! He fucking called 14 times more, up till 6:50pm from the last time he spoke with her at 5:13pm!! Again, I yelled down to gram… “CALL MIKE AGAIN!!! HE CALLED 14 TIMES SINCE YA LAST SPOKE WITH THE RETARD ABOUT HOUR AGO!”

She was like (while throwing arms and hands up in air)… “OH GOD! WHAT’S HE WANT NOW!?!?!? I JUST SPOKE WITH HIM A LITTLE BIT AGO!!!!” I told pap before, even though we NEED Callwave, I still think we should cancel it and use that money spent on Callwave payments, to block his number and his fat ugly 60 year old girlfriend’s number from calling here… He laughed.

It’s fucked up though too, it’s not just the pain in the fucking ass brother that calls WHILE I’m just getting online, or while already online… it’s anyone in general. But mostly my family members. Of course, there’s only one person that can call whenever and I won’t get mad at em for it…

Either way, like in this image preview here (click image to see full version), I wish I had the following options to choose from:

Brother + Callwave = Pain in the fucking ass!

I know, I know… get something better then Juno Dialup, ya cheap bastard! My response: “Ya gonna give me the money for something better?” No? Aight then, shut the fuck up and call me, so I can close Callwave on ya! Well, for everyone except one person… :D

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What’s happening?

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Well, since you all don’t know shit about what’s going on with me lately, I’ll fill ya in…

  1. Besides working my ass off at the job, I’ve been working my ass off on the site in various ways. More details about this coming in another post. I know, boring! Shut the fuck up, who asked you anyway!?!?
  2. In the process of moving ALL of my domains from shitty Dreamhost.com to Namecheap.com, and moved ALL of my sites from Dreamhost.com to my buddies host. Notice the improvement? I sure do! Hasn’t been down yet (knock on wood), and it’s faster than a couple of rabbits during mating season…

    The only domain that hasn’t been moved yet, is VindictiveBastard.com. Damn the 60 day ICANN rules!! It should be able to move on the 18th of this month though.. *crosses fingers* .. Then, it’s bye bye shitty Nightmarehost.com, I mean… Dreamhost.com.
  3. Still working ass off at shit work, and just haven’t been in a mood to post lately!

Welp, that’s about it! Now it’s time to take a little nap, like good old lazy bastards do!

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Them little fucking shit-heads…

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Every god damn time I get online, the little shit-heads are trying to bust down the back door cause they locked themselves the fuck in and they want out…

For all the fucking retarded motherfuckers out there, that basically means.. I GOTTA TAKE A FUCKING SHIT! It never fucking fails! All fucking god damn day I don’t gotta shit…but once I sit down at the computer to get online, I gotta take a huge healthy dump…

I’m starting to wonder if it’s the “Curse of the Wooden Chair” or something though too. Because when Jenn sat down on it for a little while, she had the feeling of having to take a shit also… Either way, it’s fucking bullshit.. it just never fucking fails!

I think I either gonna make a porta-pot built right into the chair, or, get another chair… which reminds me… Princess Babes… where’s that chair ya said about… LOL!

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The Kitty Cat…

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For all you cat lovers out there, ya might wanna get a box of tissues ready… cause this story isn’t pretty…

Like I just posted on my buddies BRAND NEW site, I-AM-MEAN.COM. Here’s a little story that happened while hanging out with an old hick buddy of mine…

While I was still in middle school, me and my hick friend were hanging out at his barn and found a stray kitty cat. Like a couple of rebel teenagers, we were drinking booze and liquor…

I then made the remark to him, “Wait, how long has it been since you had pussy?” He said, “Oh, a few year!” I said, “Well, there’s one for ya! You didn’t even have to search for one, it came to YOU!” Anyway, like a couple of rebel teenagers drinking booze and crap, decided to fuck with the pussy cat a bit…

First, we put milk in it’s bowl, then I attempted to try and get the cat to drink kerosene, being that it’s clear and doesn’t really have an oder to it… But the fucking cat wouldn’t drink it!! Damn it! So, I then grabbed the lighter and lit the kerosene on fire in front of it’s face… cat didn’t like THAT too much.. LOL!

Then, we tried ramming an M80 up it’s ass, lighting it and run. Damn cat squealed and screamed like a motherfucker… Of course it would, it was getting an M80 rammed up it’s ass. LOL! Damn cat wouldn’t stay still for us, so … hick buddy decided to lock it in this little cage, then run over it with the riding lawnmower… boy, did the cat hate that one too…

I then said, “Welp, I guess we’re not getting any pussy tonight!”

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Various vagina lips…

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Okay, this was brought up in another post of mine. Why do female pussy lips vary in shapes, and looks?

I mean, you have the famous “hamburger bun” lips, and “camel toes”. Which are HOT!! Then you have those pussy lips that just look like a wrinkled old grandmas pussy, sagging there like wrinkled slop of flesh… wtf!?!?!?

Here, I’ve gone ahead and rounded up some image examples from the internet, this way you can see what I’m talking about…

(These are nudes of chicks, please be advised! NSFW!!)

a) Here’s an example of the “hamburger bun” or “camel toe” lips I was talking about. Don’t it look Mmm, tasty!! Here’s one that’s pretty much the same too, except with her bent over like that, it looks like an EMBEDDED YO-YO…

b) Here’s another shot of the same chick’s pussy that you seen above there. But, with her spread eagle like that, it looks like a “Double Heart”.. don’t it?

c) Here’s another one, I’m going to call it the “Slit Clit”… Why? Because it has a nice slit up the middle of the clit. Nothing protruding and shit…That’s a nice one too…

d) Here’s another one, I’m going to call it the “clam”. Why? Because don’t it kinda look like a clam? It’s a nice one too… Licky licky, slip in the dicky…

e) (Forewarning, most guys might not want to look at this one) Here’s another one too. This one is gross looking. Why? Because it looks like the lady not only dildo herself with a normal dildo, but a Chef Knife too, looks all bloody and shit.. Ewww!! SICK!

f) Here’s another one, this is another gross one. This is one of those “What the hell is it? Is it safe to put my dick in this?” pussies…

g) (Forewarning; not really because it’s gross, but because there’s a guys cock in it as well.) Here’s another one, this is going to get the name “Gaping Maw”… Well, you’ll understand why I gave it that name then, once you seen it .. LOL!

h) Here’s another one, this is the “Slop of Fuck” I was talking about.. What the hell is this shit?!?!? Is it safe to put a dick in this or what?!?!?! Eeek!

Anyway, yeah.. I think that about sums it up for various pussy lips. If I happened to miss some, let me know!

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